Starting something new

Tired of the fat so much that I'm gonna restrict a lot, but my boyfriend is quite alright when I said how much I was restricting, it's very low cal but when I asked him about it he said its ok to do that. I'm sure he's tired of me being fat too so we will see how things go.

So... what are you accomplishing by doing this?

Lose weight

Hope that works out for you then. Never did for me.are you expecting us to support you in this decision, thus why youre posting it here?

I am wondering why he says its ok to do that like he doesn't care

Focusing on fitness vs what you eat may be worth trying. I've noticed that sheer calorie restriction just makes your body go into starvation mode and hoard calories. Exercise lets you eat so much more but everything "tightens up" and gets less flabby.

I think the guys know a "dangerous" conversation when they hear one!! Saying the wrong thing can be hurtful so they avoid talking at all.

I don't think a thread like this is appropriate.

no it is appropriate to seek help when i feel like restricting and shouldn't, plus i was wondering why no one seems to freaking care that i wanted to do that, it was a moment of weakness

How are you doing now? I just saw this thread. I think we are around the same size. Have you tried spark people.com? They are like pc but for weight loss. I have been trying to regulate my eating. I went onto their forums and searched too hungry and found a lot of helpful solutions from people who have been there. Cutting down too fast doesn't work, cutting down too much on fat makes you too hungry.

I think we tend to believe people who say they are going to restrict, because some do "succeed" - the rest of us either feel like failures, or we know it does no good to try to convince someone not to restrict - it's a free country. It doesn't mean we don't care, or that we think it's a good idea.

Sorry if this offends, Hankster, but i really don't think it's appropriate to be advising someone who has an eating disorder to be posting on weight loss forums.

Oh no offense, and thanks for bringing it up.

are you already restricting, or did you just mention it to your bf and went on eating as usual?

Because no offense... it could then come off as "I will diet... starting tomorrow" line among normal eaters who would like to be skinny, but want to eat too. If I freaked out over every single of my girlfriends who mentions they will not eat as much... I'd be freaking out constantly. For average person it's hard to tell difference between your average dieting girl (90% of population likely) and eating disorder.

I restricted for a while :/ but I'm back to binging. I go through these starving then binging phases. don't know how to stop this

Getting control of your emotions is a good place to start....working on the issues that are causing you to feel & do this is what you need to be doing with your T

Unfortunately, it's a really common cycle, and the restricting also puts your metabolism out of whack. Are you seeing a therapist or anything right now? I know it's often not affordable for many people, but if you have the option I think you should look into it.

And while wanting to lose a little bit of weight isn't always a bad thing, remember that if you have an eating disorder, the end goal will always change in my experience. Once you admit to yourself that there's something you think is so fundamentally wrong with you that you're willing to starve yourself, it becomes a spiral of self-hatred that just keeps going and isn't satisfied with any weight or facet of your appearance. And you're worth more than that!

It might help if you can talk to someone with experience with eating disorders, a doctor, and plan out healthy (non-restricting!) meals ahead of time, and sporadic but not obsessive exercise. Avoid diet websites or reading about diets without medical advice because a lot of that stuff is both triggering and unhealthy! If you can, maybe try some new clothing (thrift stores are great for trying cheap fashion changes) or get a haircut, sometimes those things can give us a boost in confidence.

But the end thing you need to work towards is learning to love yourself and your body. Let me tell you, there is no end to an ED, there's no point where your eating disorder will say "that's it, you're perfect!" because EDs are by definition self-destructive. And you don't deserve that, because you're beautiful and so is your body. It's the only body you're going to have, and the end goal of working through an eating disorder should be to learn to respect and love it, and yourself.

I'd be suspicious. I'd ask him up front why he thinks it's okay. If I ever said anything like that to my partner she'd be horrified.