[inkblot]

I gave in to temptation tonight and ATE some real food after I got home. I had a roll-up bread (like a tortilla?), added some shredded lettuce and cheese, and some cut up pre-cooked sun-dryed tomato turkey breast with a few diced and spiced Contadina tomatoes. It was pretty good, but of course after days of barely eating anything at all, my heart is now pounding in my chest. I think it is the bit of relief that I was kind of able to tell my T about the weekend and all else in that note. I'll have to tell him that I really did eat tonight, LOL. I was in DocJohn's chat tonight which probably helped a little, too. It felt good to be there. I imagine that by the time my appointment comes around, I'll have adjusted more to everything that has happened and may be able to talk about it a little better. When I did drop off the note I at first considered timing it so that he would be just exactly in between patients. I decided to take the note up right away instead, so I wouldn't sit in the parking lot and think too much about it or how the letter might be changed or added to. I don't have an urge to make myself sick right now, but I have still been taking the caffeine and some stuff. I'm not as crazy with it all as I was this past weekend though. The caffeine and the supplement stuff is just kind of a habit. You get used to something and it feels weird if you don't do it. Plus, with the one it helps me to sleep better. It works like a seratonin type thing. I better get busy now so I can get to bed. It's getting pretty late.