[musicflows]

It's been getting worse and I feel I can't do this on my own, but I'm too ashamed to tell my family or anyone close to me about my ED. Lately, I've been restricting every day, binging and purging frequently, and exercising 3-5 hours a day. I'm tired and I feel out of control.

In 2 weeks, I will drop out of college and be on my own. I've told people that I'll be traveling and having adventures, but the more I think about it, the more I think that checking myself into a recovery center may be beneficial. I wouldn't have to hide or be ashamed and I would learn how to cope and regain control of my life.

The only question I have is: how much is it going to cost? I'm still under my parents' insurance but they can't know about any of this. I would be paying out of my savings account and I don't know if I can afford it.

Also, will they accept me? I've never been officially diagnosed with an ED because I've never told anyone. I'm nervous that my condition may not be serious enough and they won't accept me.

[buttrfli42481]

Can you call the place you are thinking about going to and ask them these questions? I know that when I was inpatient, it was over $15000.00 for 15 days. That was at an actual hospital though. I would call and ask and maybe ask how you can tell your parents. I will be thinking of you in the up and coming days.

[Karrebear]

I am happy to hear that you are considering treatment. Your chances for recovery are a lot better if you are willing to accept the help you are given.

It will be easier for your recovery if you let your parents in. Not only would you be able to have insurance and save your saving but you will need a support system. I know this is very difficult and much easier said than done. I had mine for about 5 yrs before I told my mom. I was already in treatment and my therapist had my parents come in for a family session.

I imagine the where ever you decide to go, they will set you up with an evaluation to see which level of care you would need.

Stay strong

[Bill3]

Would you be willing to share your thinking about why your parents must not know? If I understand you correctly, they do know about your therapist and are supportive of your therapy.

[spondiferous]

I encourage you to at least check out a treatment facility and ask them your questions, as has already been suggested here. I have never been to inpatient treatment for my ED but I have been for alcoholism and I can honestly say that for me, it's probably the only reason I'm still alive today. I couldn't stop on my own and I needed a safe place to be to get out of the self-destructive fog I was in and decompress from the world around me. I needed a place where I could focus on myself and getting well.

[musicflows]

Originally Posted by Bill3

Would you be willing to share your thinking about why your parents must not know? If I understand you correctly, they do know about your therapist and are supportive of your therapy.

I'm having more trouble telling them about this because they've always been a bit strict on healthy living and eating. My mom, particularly, is a bit of a health nut and to have an eating disorder in my family is literally the lowest I can go. I'm just so ashamed to tell them that I engage in such disgusting behavior.

[Bill3]

It sounds like you feel that you have really let them down and you are ashamed to have them find this out.

What would happen next if they did find out?

[eskielover]

First off any inpatient place knows that your healing includes family issues so family is a normal part of treatment even as inpatient. Even though I was 100 + miles from home....there was a time when family was required to take part in the treatment...most of the time they are a lot of the cause behind it (even in your case where your parents/mother expect perfection in healthy eating?????). There's a whole lot more to ED's than just body image.....so don't kid yourself it that's where your thinking is coming from.

I was in treatment for about 2 months back in my 40's (1995).....have been in medical treatment for anorexia more times than I would care to admit.....but in was in the medical hospital without any treatment involved other than going over to the psych ward for groups or having the hospital's psych visiting daily.

Honestly, if you aren't serious about making the change....don't waste your time or your money......for me the time in treatment was a waste because I didn't want to be there.....they had funds for people who didn't have the money to pay....& my pdoc pushed me to go inpatient for that......but I wasn't in any place mentally to care at that point so all the medical stays came after that.......& about 9 years ago after going through a trauma which was the cause of my last time with anorexia.

Keeping your family out of the loop isn't going to give you the treatment that you really need because it's about dealing with issues in your life.....that's underneath almost EVERY ED.