[breakmystride]

I've posted before about how I think I have a weird attitude towards food, but it's changed in the past couple months and I'm worried it's become something more serious. I used to buy a lot of junk food and then let it go to waste because I didn't feel like eating it. Lately I've been trying to eat more healthily, but sometimes, maybe 2 or 3 times a week, I still get the urge to buy junk food. And then if I give into those urges, it leads to a stressful situation where I feel like I NEED to eat that food, but I still really don't want to. And then I end up eating it anyway, but the feeling won't go away, so I'll need to get more food. I don't feel hungry and I don't enjoy the food, but once I start, I can't stop until my stomach hurts. It makes me feel guilty and angry at myself, but then I'll do it again a couple days later.

I was worried that maybe I had developed a binge-eating disorder, but then I was reading about non-purge bulimia, and I seem to fit the description for that as well, because I sometimes fast or take laxatives to punish myself after a binge. I know I'd have to work with a therapist to find out exactly what's going on, but do you think I fit the signs of either of those disorders? Or is it just another part of my anxiety?

[Grey Matter]

It sounds like a disordered way to view food. I think it's important to know that there isn't just anorexia and bulimia. There is EDNOS, which is umbrella term for other types of disordered eating. I would bring this up with a doctor or a T, especially since you have anxiety. I know it can be draining. Take care.

[breakmystride]

I guess EDNOS makes sense. I definitely eat too much to be considered anorexic, but I don't purge when I binge either.

Today was another bad day. I had two suppers, because my parents didn't know I'd already eaten, and then I took my sister out for ice cream (and of course I had way more than she did). So it wasn't exactly the worst binge I've ever had, but I'm feeling really bad about it now. Now part of me is wanting to take laxatives and get rid of all that food, and another part of me is wanting to raid the fridge and eat even more.

I'm not currently seeing a therapist. I know I'll probably be going back at some point, but any advice on what to do in the meantime? I've considered talking to my parents about it, but I'm not sure, because I think they might react by over-controlling everything I eat.

[elevatedsoul]

i think i have the opposite problem you face, i have bad anxiety and panic disorder too

i want to eat but i dont feel like eating.. i dont know if i have an ED or not, but i know that i dont eat as much as i should even though my BMI is... ok i think... eating once a day isnt normal though, and i have an upset stomach alot of the time.. but cant pull myself to eat anything, till the end of the day and i make myself eat for fear of starvation or some accidental death... i think i will bring up this EDNOS as well at my next apt, i wasnt sure what to call it to talk about it , thanks

i hope you get a handle on it

[breakmystride]

I had a really bad day today and I'm really freaking out.