[Broken Wings]

So... I'm going to residential treatment for my eating disorder. I'll be there in about two weeks. It's the first time that I'm going. And I'm absolutely petrified! I do not know what to expect except that I'm positive I'm going to freak out (and my anxiety is going to sky rocket) because I won't be able to do my ED behaviors. And to top it all off, I'm getting a full scholarship for my treatment (which I'm grateful for), so I feel a lot of pressure because there is a lot of people that have been waiting for this for me for awhile; so there's a lot of people I can disappoint if I relapse when I get out.

P.S. I am doing this for myself! I want to get better. I am tired of living with an ED. I guess I just wanted to rant..... Thanks for listening!

[gayleggg]

Of course, you are nervous about residential treatment. I think everybody is if it's ther'ye first time. They will keep you busy with statagies for getting well. You will meet others with the same problem. You won't feel so alone. Mainly, use any techniques you have to reduce your anxiety. Listen to music, meditate, excersize, etc. If you haven't tried any of these, start, they really help. You will feel much more at ease once you are there and start to make friends there that have the same goal as you. Good luck to you. I know it won't be easy, but we will support you here.

[maddnessreturns]

Good luck! I hope all goes well. I know it is scary but in the long run it will help. Let us know how things turn out for you. Hugs. I'm so glad you got a full scholarship also that is tremendous.

[eskielover]

The time my pdoc got me into the ed treatment center when i was really bad & at a very low weight they said it was paid for by funds the treatment center had for uninsurred people like me...after the 1 1/2 months there & home..we got bills from all the md's, pdoc (quack) & everyone that treated me but that insurance still wouldn't cover. Yes the living at the center was covered completely...but there was still a huge expense we just ignored & went to collection because we had no money to pay. Just something you might want to check...what all does that schlorship cover & what hidden expenses might possibly show up.

I think it's wonderful to get the treatment if YOU ARE READY to mske the change in your life. We basically had group treatment through the day. I had serious issues with the eating together at the dining room table...the plates they brought had so much food on them & if you didn't eat every bite they made you drink a can of sustical....to this day anything like sustical makes me sick & Im NOT BULIMIC. I went in being suicidal in the first place so they had a nurse one on one with me for the first week....it was a serious challenge for me but I had more things going on than anorexia. It is a bit scary putting one's whole life including what we eat in the hands of others...but a wonderful time to reflect & focus on the why & the fact that no matter what the "why" our bodies need food energy to survive & function well in LIFE with the other option being that we end up destroying the functioning of our body & if not death it can lead to a pretty miserable existance just for the desire to be thin.

Wishing you the best with your experience & success in reprogramming your thought process that brought you to this place in the beginning

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