[Sunny0537]

Hi I have been having problems eating and taking care of myself physically and emotionally.

I was diagnosed with a chronic illness in May 2013 and was put on medication to help control it. Things began to get better for me as my family and friends said I looked better and my eyes did not appear as heavy. I still felt rather jumpy and tense however.

In August 2013 my doctor told me my vitamin and mineral levels were low and so I was put on a course of tablets, which I didn't like because they made me sick. So I bought myself an alternative supplement that I got on better with. My levels were checked again in November and they rose a little. The doctor was pleased that the levels were going in the right direction and she told me to keep up the good work.

I then attended a private nutritionist appointment in March of this year and the nutritionist I spoke to said I was dairy and gluten intolerant and pretty much low on every mineral and vitamin going. So she advised me to buy 6 different supplements to help my immune system recover as well as go gluten and dairy free.

During this time I had a reply from a member on the health support forum saying that I had pretty much wasted my money and time on the nutritionist consultation and looking back I took their comment rather personally. So I wrote a post saying that I didn't approve of any replies or comments that had intonations of sarcasm but this backfired when I upset someone else. Thinking I could do nothing to remedy this situation I took every post off that I had created and left the forum.

I re-registered 3 days later and I wanted to protect my anonymity by not mentioning my name or background. This unraveled and the person I had accidentally upset called me deceitful. I messaged them explaining that I had done as much as I could in getting myself well again and they replied back saying that they didn't know what they had done to upset me but they didn't want to reply to any more of my posts. The last reply I had sent to them told them that it was never them who upset me but someone else. I even gave them this person's user name. No reply. So I left again.

In May I re-registered as I thought that the dust had cleared a bit and I had other problems, mainly family ones. I again didn't mention my name or background and the person I accidentally upset started to reply to me and was being really helpful and understanding. As the weeks went by this person was then made to be one of the ones in charge and after a heartfelt post I created about my problems with my family they were the first to reply, and they seemed to know my name even though I had never given it away and also that I was due to be seeing a therapist (when I was a previous member there I mentioned I was looking for a therapist). So I then panicked, decided not to reply and to also never go back on the forum.

So, as things stand - because of all the pressure and problems I have had I am finding it very hard to take care of myself, nutritionally. I haven't taken any of my medication since April/May nor the medications for my illness since May (I think I only took it once or twice). I have gone back to my old habits of eating junk food and avoiding healthy food (not just because I don't feel like it but also because I am never hungry or thirsty and I have swallowing difficulties). I don't think it is anorexia but I am clearly doing this due to stress and I have reached the stage where I just don't care about anything anymore. My stomach has been cramping and I get more instances of acid reflux and feeling sick and I am worried that if I mention anything to my doctor I'll be classed as unstable and sent away to be force fed.

[kaliope]

I am sorry you are having difficulties. I don't think it is anorexia as you admit you are eating, just not healthy eating. how bad is it...is it all candy and sweets and potato chips or are you eating real food in there to, just stuff you are not supposed to be eating? it may be your fears thinking you are going to be force fed. or maybe I don't have enough of the story from what you wrote. I encourage you to talk to your dr. you seem to have slipped off track. what is it going to take to get back on track? just writing this post indicates that you realize you have a problem and you want to do something about it. you just seem scared of the steps you have to take or the consequences of getting off track. you have got yourself in a good place before so I am confident that you can get yourself back there. set small goals for yourself. one step at a time. take care.

[waggiedog]

Hi there hunny. Yes, I agree with the other member. It would def be a good idea to run this by your Dr, the things you've said here anyways. Although it may not be anorexia now, that illness can get a hold of you in these kind of situations, so be careful. Def see your Dr. though. Let us know how you get on dear. HUGS.

[Sunny0537]

Originally Posted by kaliope

I am sorry you are having difficulties. I don't think it is anorexia as you admit you are eating, just not healthy eating. how bad is it...is it all candy and sweets and potato chips or are you eating real food in there to, just stuff you are not supposed to be eating? it may be your fears thinking you are going to be force fed. or maybe I don't have enough of the story from what you wrote. I encourage you to talk to your dr. you seem to have slipped off track. what is it going to take to get back on track? just writing this post indicates that you realize you have a problem and you want to do something about it. you just seem scared of the steps you have to take or the consequences of getting off track. you have got yourself in a good place before so I am confident that you can get yourself back there. set small goals for yourself. one step at a time. take care.

Hi there, thanks for getting back to me. Well, on a typical weekday this is what I usually eat:

Morning - nothing apart from a cup of tea and a yogurt (but that is pushing it)
Afternoon - packet of crisps/chocolate/candy and a cup of tea (very rarely anything else)
Evening - usually something more nutritious like a curry or a stir fry. Friday nights a takeout like fish and chips or Chinese.

I have fear about being force fed because my doctor has already told me I am low in a few minerals and vitamins and they needed supplementing. I also have difficulty swallowing too.

I am scared of the steps I know I need to take because I know that once I am well again my family will be back on at me about finding a job etc. Also I have problems with being consistent, I don't usually stick at anything.

[Sunny0537]

Originally Posted by waggiedog

Hi there hunny. Yes, I agree with the other member. It would def be a good idea to run this by your Dr, the things you've said here anyways. Although it may not be anorexia now, that illness can get a hold of you in these kind of situations, so be careful. Def see your Dr. though. Let us know how you get on dear. HUGS.

Hi there, thanks for replying. I see my doctor Friday so I will see what he says. Thanks for hug.