[Deershire]

I'm diagnosed as EDNOS. At least that's what it used to be called. Now it's OSFED. Anyway I couldn't find a section to post under so I made one. Within the last couple of weeks I have been having a bit of a setback I guess you would say.(trigger)I have been craving cold liquids and not food. When I saw that I lost several pounds in doing so, I purposely started to go back to restricting. Basically my main nutrition comes from diet pop, 1% milk, apple juice and water. With a little fruit thrown in. I'm supposed to spend this weekend with my boyfriend and he doesn't like when I restrict so I'm stressed out cuz I don't know what I'm going to do. I've grown quite accustomed to the way I eat now. I don't wish to cause a fight or worry him or my best friend who will also be there. Logically I know I should just suck it up and eat for two days. It won't kill me. The ED part says "it might as well". I'm totally stressed out and yet, I somehow miss the craziness. I don't know what I'm going to do yet(/trigger).

In all reality you should be fighting to maintain good health and balance. I know that with the ED its hard to do so. In reality, you should be honest with your bf and maybe seek help fr this relapse. Failure to be honest could have devastating effects on your relationship.

[pinkflower17]

Originally Posted by Deershire

I'm diagnosed as EDNOS. At least that's what it used to be called. Now it's OSFED. Anyway I couldn't find a section to post under so I made one. Within the last couple of weeks I have been having a bit of a setback I guess you would say.(trigger)I have been craving cold liquids and not food. When I saw that I lost several pounds in doing so, I purposely started to go back to restricting. Basically my main nutrition comes from diet pop, 1% milk, apple juice and water. With a little fruit thrown in. I'm supposed to spend this weekend with my boyfriend and he doesn't like when I restrict so I'm stressed out cuz I don't know what I'm going to do. I've grown quite accustomed to the way I eat now. I don't wish to cause a fight or worry him or my best friend who will also be there. Logically I know I should just suck it up and eat for two days. It won't kill me. The ED part says "it might as well". I'm totally stressed out and yet, I somehow miss the craziness. I don't know what I'm going to do yet(/trigger).

It sounds like you know that what you're doing is dangerous and could set you up for a relapse. It also sounds like you're not really sure if you want to stop this cycle or not. I hope for your sake, you choose to. I think it's easy to remember the "good" parts of an eating disorder once we've moved on in recovery and even easier to forget the hell we put ourselves through. I understand missing the drama associated with being "sick". It's hard to get used to and welcome a life that's more routine and boring, for lack of a better word, but at least for me, that's a life much more worth living. Good luck this weekend. I hope you make good choices.