[armatage]

There is this girl that I love and really care for. She doesn't eat much and refuses to admit she has a eating disorder. She actually thinks she's fat! She's a very slim and beautiful girl and I don't see how she thinks she's fat. She SIs and I believe she's not eating because she has little control of her life so eating is like one of the few things she can control. I really want to help her. Any advice?

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[Rapunzel]

That is really wonderful that you care so much about your friend and want her to get better. It makes sense that she could do these things out of needing to have some control over her life. What could she do in order to gain more control over her life in a healthy and meaningful way? Does she have plans for the future?

Probably, the best thing that you can do to help is to continue to be a friend to her, and to tell her what a terrific person she is. You can also encourage her to get professional help. But you can't take on the responsibility yourself for making her better. Know your limits, and make sure that you are safe yourself and that your needs are being met. Also, try not to emphasize food or appearance. Telling her how slim she is might emphasize to her that weight and appearance are what matters. Trying to get her to eat will also make that the focus of attention.

Best wishes to both of you!

<font color=orange>"If we are going to insist that people pull themselves up by their own bootstraps, we must ensure that they have boots."</font color=orange>

[armatage]

Thanks Rapunzel. I'll take your advice and not focus on her weight. There's something deeper to this than starvation and SI and I'm doing my best to help her and let her know how much I care for her. I've decided to get her professional help like I got. She refuses to go to a hospital so I may have to get her commited. I'll feel bad turning her in and she'll probly hate me for it at first. I'll try to be strong for both of us and we'll see if a T. can help her better than I can.

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[loser_child]

yeah, ed. thanks a whole lot. so how's all that trying to find that nurse going? never did believe that you'd ever get me help. kind of a surprise. i wonder why. don't get mad at me for not wanting help for a problem that i don't have. it's weird how i got you help when you never asked, but you expect me to agree with you about me needing help for you to do it. nvm. i'm out and i'm done talking to you.

[armatage]

I'm not sure if I should get you help now since the hospital might want to commit you and you'll miss finals this week. If not during school, you can count on friday or saturday. I'm sorry for doing this. You know I love you and I'm doing this for your own good. When you see this please IM me, ok?

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[loser_child]

aww...darn. i'll miss david's graduation and big party. no going out and getting drunk for me. ruin my dreams