[Miracle1986]

I am 22 years old and have been struggling with anorexic tendencies for probably about 2 or 3 years now.
I say "tendencies" because I have never been actually diagnosed with an ED, but I think I may have one.

A little background:
I have always been a very picky eater. When I was little people would always say "you don't eat enough to keep a bird alive."
And to this day, sometimes people still tell me that.
In high school, kids used to make fun of me, call me twiggy, walking up behind me and making purging nosies, etc.

I few years ago, my mom told me that I needed to gain weight (I currently weigh 79 lbs - with a BMI of 17.7),
but because of my body's stature (4' 8") I didn't want to gain too much.

I think for me, anorexia is more about using it has a way of self harming rather than being afraid to gain weight. I know I am not fat,
(although I must admit, I am started to think more and more about that) I mean, don't get me wrong, I don't wanna be HUGE,
but no one does. I guess what I am trying to say is I don't think I have warped mentality that other people with eating disorders normally have.

For me, it is all about feeling the hunger pains, and I really don't know why, but sometimes when I haven't eaten
in a while and I start to feel light headed or dizzy or whatever... I think in a way I actually like feeling that way.
Does that make sense? Why is that? I am crazy?

And another thing I don't get (last thing and then I'll shut up I promise)...
sometimes when I don't eat for a while I am really really hungry... like my stomach hurts I am so hungry,
but then eventually, if I wait long enough, (instead of becoming more hungry... like most people would)
I actually get to a point where I don't feel hungry anymore. Why is that?

I sometimes only eat one or two meals a day.
If I am alone (and I think I can get away with it) I eat less.
I have been known to eat only about 275 cal. and 6-8 ounces
of water in a day.

*is shutting up now...*

[silver_queen]

Well your weight is nearly at anorexic levels but that doesn't necessarily mean you're anorexic.

I think for me, anorexia is more about using it has a way of self harming rather than being afraid to gain weight. I know I am not fat,
(although I must admit, I am started to think more and more about that) I mean, don't get me wrong, I don't wanna be HUGE,
but no one does. I guess what I am trying to say is I don't think I have warped mentality that other people with eating disorders normally have.

Anorexia (nervosa) isn't entirely about weight loss. The obsession with food and calories and weight etc is often to disguise or distract from a background issue. You say that you use it as a way of self harm. I've seen it described in that way before and indeed do also starve myself as a 'punishment' sometimes...

Do you think you might look even a bit overweight? If not, it doesn't matter. Not everyone who has anorexia does have that warped vision of the size of the body, although I do know that the DSM-IV requests it to be present.

sometimes when I haven't eaten
in a while and I start to feel light headed or dizzy or whatever... I think in a way I actually like feeling that way.
Does that make sense? Why is that? I am crazy?

No you're not crazy. I, at least, enjoy the feeling as well. I like the feeling of being empty and knowing that it is benefiting me because I will be losing weight from it. I know that because I am feeling dizzy/ light-headed/ whatever, the lack of eating is having an effect, it means my body is suffering (perhaps also tied in with the self-harm aspect).

sometimes when I don't eat for a while I am really really hungry... like my stomach hurts I am so hungry,
but then eventually, if I wait long enough, (instead of becoming more hungry... like most people would)
I actually get to a point where I don't feel hungry anymore. Why is that?

Yeah, I don't remember experiencing this, but I have read about this happening to ppl. Quite frankly, it is a good thing to experience. Better than the crazy hunger that can hit starving ppl. There must be some biological reason for the body stopping feeling hungry but I can't work out what it is.

I hope this helps you in some ways ... and let me know if I can be of any further help.

[Fading-Perfection]

You have some aspects of anorexia.

although i read (not that it is definetly true) that you can be diagnosed with anorexia which is wanting to be thin or what people may refer to as a "wannarexic" or a "wanna-bexic" etc... but anorexia nervosa is to do with the mind... im not sure...
but i think you may well just be classed as a fussy eater

[silver_queen]

Originally Posted by Fading-Perfection

You have some aspects of anorexia.

although i read (not that it is definetly true) that you can be diagnosed with anorexia which is wanting to be thin or what people may refer to as a "wannarexic" or a "wanna-bexic" etc... but anorexia nervosa is to do with the mind... im not sure...
but i think you may well just be classed as a fussy eater

The general term 'anorexia' just means 'loss of appetite' and is used medically to mean that, but 'anorexia' meaning 'anorexia nervosa' is just that: anorexia nervosa. It is the same thing.

[hurtingintn]

Quote:
I think for me, anorexia is more about using it has a way of self harming rather than being afraid to gain weight. I know I am not fat,
(although I must admit, I am started to think more and more about that) I mean, don't get me wrong, I don't wanna be HUGE,
but no one does. I guess what I am trying to say is I don't think I have warped mentality that other people with eating disorders normally have.


??? so people with Ed's are warped mentally??

[Miracle1986]

Originally Posted by hurtingintn

"I guess what I am trying to say is I don't think I have warped mentality that other people with eating disorders normally have"

??? so people with ED's are warped mentally?

I just meant that sometimes they think they are fat, when they aren't.
I didn't mean anything mean by it... I swear.... I am sorry if it came across as being mean.

[hurtingintn]

and that makes them mental?

no biggy ..was just a question

[foreverlost]

My ED symptoms also are not really tied to body image. That's why I wonder if I actually have an ED. For me I think it's tied more to control, punishment and maybe self-injury. Is this still an ED?

[marcelodlanod]

Yes, it is.... im sorry... the same goes to me and im diagnosed with anorexia nerviosa.