[Sarmas]

So after the holidays and whatever weight I've gained I'm already feeling horrible about myself. It's to the point that I workout with a jacket which I've never had before. Now ive made it a point to watch what I eat and sprint three times a week at the gym. I also lift weights as well. I know I'm blessing about my weight loss and I've been focusing on making changes. I've been struggling in my own. Today a friend of mine made a comment which just took me over the edge. She commented on my weight and said that I'm not fit and that perhaps if I do cardio twice a day that I will be fit by the summer time. I'm the first one to be hard on myself about my weight and I spoke to a few people who also said that she was crazy to say that and that if wasn't true. I've definitely have gained weight but nowhere to the extent that she says. Eventhough I know that and others have questioned her comment I can't help but not obsess about it. Today I sprinted again and I went to the gym twice. Now I'm doing twice as much and I'm trying lose as fast as possible. I don't feel in control and I'm
Not sure to help myself.

[Skeezyks]

Hello Sarmas: I'm sorry I don't think there is much of anything I could offer with regard to this. But I noticed no one had replied to your post. So I thought I would. From my perspective, this sounds like a situation that needs to be taken up with a therapist... or perhaps with the help of an eating disorders program. Hopefully other members will have better suggestions to offer. Anyway... I wish you the best in your struggle.

That was horrible for your friend to say!

And I understand how you would obsess about it.

Sometimes comments hurt and stick with you.My ED began because I was at an amusement park with a friend when I was a teenager,some boys walked by and yelled "fat ***!", and although I was very slim to begin with,there was no way I could convince myself those boys didn't say that to me.I kept hearing "fat ***" over and over in my mind.Long story short,I developed anorexia.

Talking to a therapist is a good idea if you are not already.

[Sarmas]

Originally Posted by CrispApple

That was horrible for your friend to say!

And I understand how you would obsess about it.

Sometimes comments hurt and stick with you.My ED began because I was at an amusement park with a friend when I was a teenager,some boys walked by and yelled "fat ***!", and although I was very slim to begin with,there was no way I could convince myself those boys didn't say that to me.I kept hearing "fat ***" over and over in my mind.Long story short,I developed anorexia.

Talking to a therapist is a good idea if you are not already.

Sorry that you went through that experience. I guess sometimes people don't understand how powerful a few words can be and in your case one word. I get what you're saying because in my head all I hear is that I'm not fit. I feel awful about myself and feel like hiding. I saw her again today and she wanted to make sure that I went to the gym and she reminded me how important it is for me to go twice a day.

[gayleggg]

She's not a friend. Some people just don't when to keep their mouths shut. Your "friend" is wrong. Don't over do the exercise. Be kind to yourself.

[Fuzzybear]

[NotOK..ItsNotTheEnd]

I agree, she is definitely not a friend! Honestly, if she is that concerned about you going to the gym, getting fit, etc...she is likely feeling very insecure about her own body! That being said, I completely understand what it's like to hear the negative and hurtful things play over and over in your head, and it sucks!! I still do not understand why the good things people say (like your friends who say you are fine as you are and she is the crazy one) do not stick in our heads! But please keep reaching out to those friends who are being supportive and as someone mentioned consider seeing a therapist because as I suspect you already know based on your comments this is a very dangerous and slippery slope into ED hell!! I wish you all the best and that you can soon find peace within yourself.

[Sarmas]

Originally Posted by NotOK..ItsNotTheEnd

I agree, she is definitely not a friend! Honestly, if she is that concerned about you going to the gym, getting fit, etc...she is likely feeling very insecure about her own body! That being said, I completely understand what it's like to hear the negative and hurtful things play over and over in your head, and it sucks!! I still do not understand why the good things people say (like your friends who say you are fine as you are and she is the crazy one) do not stick in our heads! But please keep reaching out to those friends who are being supportive and as someone mentioned consider seeing a therapist because as I suspect you already know based on your comments this is a very dangerous and slippery slope into ED hell!! I wish you all the best and that you can soon find peace within yourself.

Thanks. I was going to therapy for four years and that didn't go well also. My therapist I guess wasn't taking me seriously or just tired of me. I left when I was having a difficult time. I was somewhat doing better until this happened. I know that my friend is a bit off the wall but I can't get it out of my head. Now I have the constant thing in my head that I need to exercise. Whatever she was trying to do somehow it worked because I'm trying to shake it and I can't.

[NotOK..ItsNotTheEnd]

Believe me, I understand how it is to have comments replay in your head. I have many, some from as far back as I can remember, and they still feel like yesterday. Here are a couple thoughts I have. If you can, would you be able to tell this "friend" to stop making comments about weight and fitness to you if she still is. Perhaps even point out the fact that her being obsessed with your level of fitness is "not normal" behavior to say the least and perhaps she should take a look at herself and figure out what about herself she is unhappy with! (VERBALIZE THE FACT THAT IT IS HER ISSUE, MAY HELP YOU SEE YOUR BODY MORE REALISTICALLY). Second thought I have is, every time you hear the words your friend said playing in your head, FORCE yourself to play the conversations with your other friends calling her "crazy" for saying things that make no sense. Have you heard of "checking the facts?" It sounds like you did a very nice job initially because it sounds as if logically even you can clearly see her comments are way out of proportion with reality. I know, emotionally it feels like they fit...just keep checking the facts and listening to your true friends! I know it's hard...and super easy for me to sit and give advice, just hang in there and do the best you can.

PS. There are some very very good therapists out there and some not so good. Please consider therapy again with a different if you feel like things are starting to spiral out of control.

[Sarmas]

Originally Posted by NotOK..ItsNotTheEnd

Believe me, I understand how it is to have comments replay in your head. I have many, some from as far back as I can remember, and they still feel like yesterday. Here are a couple thoughts I have. If you can, would you be able to tell this "friend" to stop making comments about weight and fitness to you if she still is. Perhaps even point out the fact that her being obsessed with your level of fitness is "not normal" behavior to say the least and perhaps she should take a look at herself and figure out what about herself she is unhappy with! (VERBALIZE THE FACT THAT IT IS HER ISSUE, MAY HELP YOU SEE YOUR BODY MORE REALISTICALLY). Second thought I have is, every time you hear the words your friend said playing in your head, FORCE yourself to play the conversations with your other friends calling her "crazy" for saying things that make no sense. Have you heard of "checking the facts?" It sounds like you did a very nice job initially because it sounds as if logically even you can clearly see her comments are way out of proportion with reality. I know, emotionally it feels like they fit...just keep checking the facts and listening to your true friends! I know it's hard...and super easy for me to sit and give advice, just hang in there and do the best you can.

PS. There are some very very good therapists out there and some not so good. Please consider therapy again with a different if you feel like things are starting to spiral out of control.

Thanks for the advice. I know I need help and I know she's having issues at the time. I can't seem to shake it. I've been getting worse than when I originally posted. I've been dieting harder and sprinting of which I've never done. I'm hours at the gym. I had a dream last night that someone was telling me that I gained weight over the winter. Needless to say after dropping off my kids at school I ran to the gym. 90 calorie dinner because I'm afraid to eat too much. It's absurd and I know it but I'm not sure how to stop.

Seeing a therapist is not in the cards for me at the present time and I would hate to take a risk with a new one and have to retell my whole story. My last one was great if she wasn't so packed with clients and more "in tune" during session. She needed some tweaking. lol I'm not sure what to do as of yet.