[Sarmas]

I think my Ed is just getting worse. I'm obsessing about how
Much I should be exercising and my calorie intake. I had for
Dinner today 90 calories. I worked out for a total of 5.5 hours today and I still feel like I have done nothing. I'm Sprinting instead of jogging or running which is new for me as well. I'm focused on losing weight and I feel
Like I can't get it off quick Enough. My friend who just lost her husband made comments last week and she's there to quiz my kids to see what I'm eating and that I don't "cheat". I'm having dreams of people telling me that I'm fat. I've been trying to fight this but it's getting to big for me at this point. I went to the supermarket to get something lean to eat and the people in front of me had pizza and I was afraid. I couldn't fathom how they could eat that but I was able to eat pizza last week. I'm unable to Do so now. I justified it last week and this week there are no exceptions. After my workout I bought food for later in case I get hungry and I ended up not having it. I sort of can eat but At the same time I can't eat it. It sits in a bag still because I can't take it out.

[Flutterby11]

are you seeing someone for this?

[Sarmas]

Originally Posted by Flutterby11

are you seeing someone for this?

No I'm not. I was in the past .

[Flutterby11]

Originally Posted by Sarmas

No I'm not. I was in the past .

Maybe if it helped you should go back.

[Sarmas]

Perhaps it would. I know my therapist used to get frustrated when I would get like this but while I was with her it wouldn't be this bad. This is more intense. She would tell me to eat and she did refer me out to a dietitian. My insurance since then has changed and my life overall has changed. I have to force myself I guess to want to make the difference. I left at first for a few reasons but one being that I couldn't make the changes at that times due to increase in stress. I left and took it in my own hands but now I'm spiraling .