[Sarmas]

I've realized that I'm super stressed and I feel Like I have no control in general. I'm really trying to eat but somehow I can't put food in my mouth. I don't see my T for two weeks which is ok. I'll starve myself for the next two
Weeks until then. I'm even sure the reasoning for that. I'll take diet pills go to the gym and call it a day as I appear to look normal and smile my day away telling people that I'm fine. I need to make changes in so many ways but I'm not sure where to start because I just want to scream. All I have a sometimes a protein shake here and there and sometimes I forget that as well. Last night I was starving so I went to bed hungry on purpose. I'm so done.

[Flutterby11]

Originally Posted by Sarmas

I've realized that I'm super stressed and I feel Like I have no control in general. I'm really trying to eat but somehow I can't put food in my mouth. I don't see my T for two weeks which is ok. I'll starve myself for the next two
Weeks until then. I'm even sure the reasoning for that. I'll take diet pills go to the gym and call it a day as I appear to look normal and smile my day away telling people that I'm fine. I need to make changes in so many ways but I'm not sure where to start because I just want to scream. All I have a sometimes a protein shake here and there and sometimes I forget that as well. Last night I was starving so I went to bed hungry on purpose. I'm so done.

i am sorry things are so hard for you. maybe try and set a goal to eat just one thing a day doesnt matter what it is just one thing though. idk if that is even helpful just throwing ideas out there.

[Sarmas]

I had a banana. I had to force it down. Every time I look in the mirror I feel like I have to lose at least 30 pounds. I feel so fat. I guess when I get stressed my eating disorder kicks in more.

I can't really relate to this (i'm right up the other end of the eating scale, eating everything and anything)

Possible trigger:

the only time I starved myself was a few years ago, as I was feeling extremely suicidal and depressed.

that didn't end well at all, and I've learnt my lesson from it (I hope)

well done for eating the banana. that's good

[Sarmas]

Originally Posted by shattered sanity

I can't really relate to this (i'm right up the other end of the eating scale, eating everything and anything)

Possible trigger:

the only time I starved myself was a few years ago, as I was feeling extremely suicidal and depressed.

that didn't end well at all, and I've learnt my lesson from it (I hope)

well done for eating the banana. that's good

I go to both extremes. I'm either eating everything I see or eating nothing at all. I go through phases. Lately I've been triggered by comments and remarks.

[Flutterby11]

Originally Posted by Sarmas

I go to both extremes. I'm either eating everything I see or eating nothing at all. I go through phases. Lately I've been triggered by comments and remarks.

that is the same as me i go through phases too. is there anything you can do to try and move past the comments?

[Sarmas]

Originally Posted by Flutterby11

that is the same as me i go through phases too. is there anything you can do to try and move past the comments?

I've been trying but I'm so unhappy with the way I look and feel that it's tough to see myself differently. Now when i look in the mirror im disgusted and think that I'm super fat.

[Flutterby11]

Originally Posted by Sarmas

I've been trying but I'm so unhappy with the way I look and feel that it's tough to see myself differently. Now when i look in the mirror im disgusted and think that I'm super fat.

i understand that feeling too well