Want to get thin

Hi everyone i know the things and consequences that lies being anorexia because i feel the same way when looking at the mirror looking fat but actually everybody says im thin. But I just coudn't help it. I easily get emotionally down or upset when I gain weight now my face looks fat... I envy those girls who are thin. Got obssessed for it because it will look great on me when i do fashion. I have fat legs and thats just what keeps me to go thin. I also wanted my jeans to fit on me and being fat made me anxious and insecure if i compare myself to other thin girls. Im a nursing graduate 21 y.o. 5'4" tall weight 50kg who is reviewing for the board exam but im having a sideline job that will help me to get rid of my weight like call centers working on a graveyard shift. I take pills, go to the gym mondays to saturdays. I deprive my self from eating and it made me very sick and so i take pills to supress eating knowing the side effects until i abuse myself doing excessive exercising and working. Everyone was shock for being thin so fast and so some of them ask me wether im anorexic and that i look sick and maybe i am. You see being thin makes me feel confident and superior but i have a stress ulcer and has abnormal heart rate. I now 45kg. I cant stop my self doing these things. It's painful and fatigue. I just hated myself. I can't talk to anyone about it because they were expecting a lot from me. I think I needed help. But I want to get thin. Am having emotional problems right now... I feel hopeless.

Hi there, disguise. I noticed your post in the resources thread, and moved it to its own thread so that you can get replies. I also changed the subject line. If you would rather have something else, let me know, ok?

You're a nursing graduate - if you had a patient who was your height and weight, would you tell her that she is fat? Eating disorders distort how you see yourself. I think you are onto something about emotional problems. There's always more to it than just the behavior, or the food, etc. I hope that you can get some help seeing yourself more clearly, both physically and emotionally.

TC,
Rap

Hi!!! This happened to me too.

There are two questions you have to answer, and that'll tell you where or not you have a problem. And you have to be very honest when you answer them. Don't lie to yourself.

1. Are you happy?
2. Are you healthy?

If you're happy AND healthy, you're fine. If you're either happy OR healthy, then you're not as fine as you might think. Obviously the worst thing is if you're neither happy or healthy- then you've got a mental disease.

Anyhow you sound just like how I was. Poeple calling you skinny but you don't feel it.

I'd say work on building your self esteem. You need to realize that you're a beautiful person and you don't need to be thin to be happy! Do WHATEVER you want to be happy. You don't need thinness.

You really sound so much like me though. And a really nice person.