[Blueberrybook]

Ugh...I was feeling accomplished because I've finally finished The Alienist by Caleb Carr. It was a book club read, but I didn't finish in time to make the meeting, and it took me a good 100 pages to get into the story, which is a lot for me.

Then, I did something so stupid. I Googled pro-ed sites, and yep, they are still out there and visited a forum briefly, even considered joining (stupid, stupid, STUPID!). Ugh! It brought up memories of all those awful sleepless nights in college when I'd post "thinspo" pictures, get into eating "competitions" of the wrong sort with other people online, horrible, horrible memories. Why did I have to do that? At least I didn't join, and at least I only read a couple posts and a few forum titles. That was so DUMB! Now I'm really angry at myself.

[Blue_Bird]

Originally Posted by cln1812

Ugh...I was feeling accomplished because I've finally finished The Alienist by Caleb Carr. It was a book club read, but I didn't finish in time to make the meeting, and it took me a good 100 pages to get into the story, which is a lot for me.

Then, I did something so stupid. I Googled pro-ed sites, and yep, they are still out there and visited a forum briefly, even considered joining (stupid, stupid, STUPID!). Ugh! It brought up memories of all those awful sleepless nights in college when I'd post "thinspo" pictures, get into eating "competitions" of the wrong sort with other people online, horrible, horrible memories. Why did I have to do that? At least I didn't join, and at least I only read a couple posts and a few forum titles. That was so DUMB! Now I'm really angry at myself.

Don't be angry with yourself, be proud that you didn't give in to the temptation to join in on one of those sites and be mindful to try not to visit them in the future as they are extremely triggering.

It's always tempting, but you got off there and that's the good thing

[toomanycats]

I still have accounts on at least one of those sites.
Thing is, most of the people on them are very young girls, and that just breaks my mommy heart repeatedly. It's pretty good motivation to stay away.

In any case, you didn't do something BAD, you did something good and strong because you didn't join or fall back into old patterns. The thoughts, the feelings, the temptations, they are going to come up... it's what we do with them that matters

[Blueberrybook]

I'm sure I may have accounts on some of those sites, if they existed while I was in college, but they are probably defunct by now or the sites closed down. Who has prodigy as an internet provider or email any more? Possibly I may have used a very old yahoo account, but I haven't used yahoo in in years.

And you're right, it's sad to see young girls, especially those of them wanting to try and become anorexic to lose weight. I've got a 10 year old daughter, and I worry all the time about the body image issues I may project though because of all the excessive running I do are less apparent since I eat meals normally, usually snack, etc.

[Gr3tta_0]

I've actually found some of "those" sites very helpful. You don't have to edit yourself so much, you can just be real. I've found the communities to be supportive and friendly.
But its a mixed bag, to be sure. Use with caution.

[Blueberrybook]

Originally Posted by Gr3tta_0

I've actually found some of "those" sites very helpful. You don't have to edit yourself so much, you can just be real. I've found the communities to be supportive and friendly.
But its a mixed bag, to be sure. Use with caution.

No. Those sites are not helpful to anyone wanting to recover. You get curious. You go the wrong places. They are not a single bit helpful, IMO. I'd just put myself into competition with every post up under anorexia even if it was a fake. That's what I did when I tried eating disorder group therapy. Those sites are a hindrance, even if you can "be real" there. And they encourage young girls into a life of hell.