[Mountaindewed]

I had salad last night for dinner and this morning for breakfast. I had a candy bar with the salad too. I’ve been eating a lot of rice cakes but I’ve only been able to find a generic brand of white cheddar and Quaker chocolate ones. I’m trying to make sure my bloodwork is ok for my surgery so that’s why I bought some more salad kits today. I did also buy Oreo pancake mix because I don’t like to cut out junk food. I try not to cut out any food group but I normally eat the same things all the time that are not really healthy. I’ve been trying to switch things up and add in more healthy things so things will be ok in October.

I’ve been eating a lot of rice cakes now instead of Goldfish. I was eating the blasted cheddar jacked ones and it was getting to be too messy. I have a bag of whole grain ones I should try. I’ve heard they are less messy and also less salty. I’ve cut back on my ramen and oatmeal too.

Basically these last 2 days I mostly just ate rice cakes, and salad. I had that full calorie Mountain Dew yesterday. I did have a pack of quest protein cups today. But I had about 6 rice cakes today. I wish I could find some other flavors. I have a bag of chocolate ones but you can’t eat those the way you can with the other flavors.

[Deilla]

I ate twice before 9 am. I usually eat once. But I was stressed.

[Mountaindewed]

I saw a dermatologist today. She had to look at a spot on my foot. She asked if I was on my feet a lot and I said no. She didn’t make any comment about me needing to lose weight. Not sure if that would apply to this or not but I know being heavy can be tough on your feet. So she must not have thought the spot was related to weight or that I was that big. Actually no doctor has brought up me losing weight. A nurse at my old clinic said weight loss would help out my chest. But the only times doctors have mentioned my weight is when I ask them about it. But I am now comfortably in a smaller size in pants and the next size is too big. Shirts are obnoxious since almost every men’s brand is too big. And being a 28 year old dude shopping in the boys department is just odd. Hollister does makes plain colored XS shirts though. It still has their small red bird logo on the upper left side though. But it’s ok. That is the brand I usually wear. Fruit Of The Looms smalls fit too.

[Deilla]

I was hungry in the middle of the night, so I ate an apple.

[Mountaindewed]

My restriction is strong today. I chugged a lot of water and diet soda today. I just now med manipulated like crazy so I could fall asleep fast. I ate but stuff like rice cakes and Goldfish crackers. I got a chili cheese dog around 2:45. I felt a bit guilty eating it because of my cholesterol. But I just drank water for the rest of the day and night.

I don’t know if what I’m currently feeling is med related or hunger pangs.

yesterday i binged and ate

Possible trigger:

4000 calories

. i ran 5 miles and did a little "strength training". today i compensated by running 12 miles and eating

Possible trigger:

1200

calories. so my net intake for today and yesterday is

Possible trigger:

1900

per day.

if you ask me i'm pretty dumb and no wonder i keep getting injured

[Mountaindewed]

I did pretty good today. I didn’t restrict but I didn’t overeat. I stayed right at my Noom goal. I didn’t have any regular soda. I think that makes me hungry. I think it’s a proven fact actually that regular soda makes you hungry. I had a couple cans of zero sugar soda but they don’t mess with me. I had a couple mugs of black unsweetened flavored teas too. I had a lot of zucchini for lunch and dinner. I had cereal at 1:30AM, a bowl at 7AM, and a 3rd one at noon. All were without milk. I have a feeling I’ll get it from my therapist tomorrow about all the cereal since it’s a safe food. Unless I just don’t tell her. I’m eating Honey Nut Cheerios and Special K. So not like Reese’s Puffs or the real unhealthy stuff. Although I do have unopened boxes of Honey Comb and Cookie Crisp cereals. I also had a rice cake and a bowl of oatmeal today. Both are safe foods. But I did get some nova lox for breakfast from Einstein Bros. So it wasn’t all just my regular safe food. I don’t eat zucchini much either. But it’s the only vegetable I’ll eat.

I’m doing a bit of med manipulation right now by taking my melatonin a couple hours ago and waiting until it kicks in so I can take my 160mil of Geodon and just go to sleep.

[Mountaindewed]

I keep getting asked if I eat meat. So it’s not ok to go a few days at a time without eating meat? I eat meat but not everyday. And I don’t eat like hunks of roast beef and chicken and stuff like that. But I’ll eat it in stuff. I like Sonics chili cheese dogs although they make me feel guilty.

I told my therapist money is pretty tight right now and she was asking if that’s why I eat the same foods all the time. But no I do not eat the same things because of financial reasons. Although I haven’t gotten groceries in awhile because I buy a lot of inexpensive food at one time that lasts me a long time.

I keep looking at videos I took of myself when underweight.

I feel huge.

I binged this morning, not too bad, but still. unfortunate. wondering what effect my eating habits have had on my teeth,

i binged on cheese just now due to work stress

i decided to go on lunch break to calm down

luckily i think i solved my extreme hunger i was experiencing earlier this year.

i reached just over

Possible trigger:

2000 cals

and i feel full.

i'm working out tonight so it won't be too bad.

i hope to maintain my weight or lose a couple lbs. i feel enormous after gaining 8 lbs this year. i made a video of me working out yesterday and theres fat on my belly

part of what set me off binging was i wasn't able to workout this morning and my roommate was using the kitchen so i wasnt in control of my food

i need to wake up early so i have control of the kitchen before anyone else is up

I have been throwing away a lot of out of date food

most of it candy

I can't believe I have candy that would make me that sick but I do.. I need to start checking the dates more often, because my food supply is a mess!- stuff I can eat, stuff I can't, I'm even treading on candy as I walk- I've loads of it
still been eating too much of it and not enough regular normal food. it's not good, but.. what can you do. my cooking is so bad I don't have a choice

[Mountaindewed]

Yesterday I had an episode that caused a massive panic attack that was most likely traced back to the lack of food I’ve been eating lately. Today I feel better about that particular situation. I finished the fish from last night around 3:30 this morning. I opened 2 more boxes of cereal after finishing the last 2 boxes and I had one bowl of each kind. One for breakfast and one for lunch. I had some ramen for a second lunch. Then I had an apple cinnamon rice cake for an afternoon snack and I just now had a bowl of Trix oatmeal. It’s more then I normally eat but it wasn’t too bad. Only 1620 calories. I also had a small pumpkin cold brew since they are back at Dunkin Donuts. I don’t want to get into the habit of drinking coffee again but I love the pumpkin stuff. Especially when it first comes out.

[Deilla]

I've been doing well with my eating.

I had a good mcdonalds yesterday

still I had some snacks after though.. not really needed but

[Deilla]

I've been eating in the middle of the night.

[Mountaindewed]

Today I was kinda hungry. I was trying one small thing after another to see if that would help. Now I’m just lying in bed after taking 2 melatonin kind of early. At least for me. But I’ll hopefully just sleep through my hunger.

I had a bowl of cereal, a chocolate bar, 3 rice cakes, a bowl of instant rice noodles without the broth, a can of roast beef, a piece of toast with melted American cheese on it, and a mini cotton candy blizzard from Dairy Queen.

[Deilla]

I'm doing fairly well tonight. I'm not hungry.

[Mountaindewed]

I don’t seem to be restricting today. At least I don’t see it that way. I seem to be just doing regular dieting. But my moods have improved after eating a legit lunch. So I do seem to be getting hangry a lot when I am restricting. And sometimes things can get a bit out of control with my moods.

[Deilla]

I just had fruit tonight.