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#1
Feb 25, 2025, 03:25 PM
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I am so sick of this:
I'm hungry, I need to eat. No, no, no! That's a cookie...bad, BAD food! But I mostly eat healthy, and I exercise a lot, I need the calories, one cookie won't hurt...Oh, but you're already NOT losing weight, can't afford it, but I don't NEED to lose weight, don't be crazy, all the women on your mom's side of the family are obese, you WANT to get fat? But just one cookie...didn't you eat birthday cake a few days ago? You need to reign it in. You must want to get FAT. No, I'm not fat, one stupid cookie won't hurt...OK, remember that pasta you tossed in olive oil for dinner...but olive oil is a HEALTHY fat...it's still a fat...you must want to gain weight and get fat...the scale is not moving, you're not losing, that is BAD. But I'm not gaining either I'm maintaining...short step from maintaining to gaining to fat..Have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately, all that abdominal fat...no, I am pretty sure a lot of that is muscle...I do exercise a lot...really, no I see FAT there... OMG, please STOP already!
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Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine, There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in. --Leonard Cohen |
 MuddyBoots
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#2
Feb 28, 2025, 06:56 AM
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Hate those ED thoughts. Yesterday it took me thirty minutes to eat a bowl of soup because I could see the fat and somehow the entire bowl was fat and going to double in my gut.
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| Blueberrybook
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