[inkblot]

When my T asked if I've ever gone a whole day without eating, I suppose that I justify what I do and said never a whole day--which is true, in a way.

I like to think that a whole day would equal each day of the week: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, etc. But when a T asks, would he be thinking one whole day as meaning 24 hours, or just each day of the week?

It's just that if he was thinking one thing and I the other. There are times when I will eat at like say 9am Tuesday, then not again until 9pm Wednesday, just drinking water or diet soda between. Technically, that is once each day. Of course, it's also a full 36 hours apart, too.

[mj14]

inky,

I think you should tell him what you just told us...that you eat something every day, but you might eat something one morning and not eat again until the following evening.

I know it might be hard to give your doc the information you know you should, because you have said that you have a lot of drive to continue these patterns. But please try to see that the doc is trying to help you.

While restricting may feel good when you do it, and you may feel like you are accomplishing, in the long run it really makes so many of your problems worse. All of your physical issues, the heart palpitations, the arthritis, are made worse by being undernourished. And in the long run, this behavior that makes you feel good today also is hurting your emotional health, by not giving both your body and your brain what they need to really recover.

I do hope so much that you can come to see that. You are such a special person, and you deserve to be treated well, even by yourself.

*hugs*
Jo

[Fuzzybear]

Just thinking of you ... ((((((((((((((((((((inky))))))))))))))))))))

Love,
Fuzzy

[Genevieve]

Isn't it funny? It does feel as if we're accomplishing something by restricting what we eat, and "keeping our weight under control" -- as I tend to think of it -- but when you come right down to it, we're only diminishing ourselves, aren't we? Until I read your post, that hadn't ever occurred to me. Thank you for that light bulb moment.

As for what your T was looking for, I think that's something you should ask him. In fact, that's a big pet peeve of mine -- that therapists aren't always very specific with their questions, so they don't make it easy to give accurate answers. I know that I've run into that, and even with a very good therapist. She asked me what I ate for breakfast, and I told her a poached egg and toast, which satisfied her. I didn't volunteer that I only ate part of the toast each morning, and she didn't think to ask.

For me, and it sounds like for you, too, restricting is so compelling that I don't want to stop -- even though I know I have to. It's like a parasite that's killing me while it tries to ensure its own survival. That makes it very hard for me to volunteer any really accurate information about it, although i will answer any questions put to me. If the therapist asked detailed questions, I would answer them honestly and accurately, but I can't volunteer without prompting.

I saw this as I was about to post a question about a related subject, in fact. I'm sorry if this isn't really addressing your question directly, but I hope it helped a little.