[anarchben]

Hi everyone.
So im kind of worried because i think im starting to develop an eating disorder.. well honestly other people say i am and they've put the idea in my head. Anyways this all started basically because i just wanted to lose like 25-30 lbs but i want to lose the weight quickly. So for the past month ive been eating as little as possible. I've also been doing a lot of cardio, around 2 hours a day of biking. even in the rain, ill go no matter what.
Whenever i eat something, even if it's just an apple i feel like ***** and wish i could take it back. ive tried throwing up but chickened out =P. on a good day ill have fewer than 1000 cals. and ideally i try to have around 6-700 but there are some days where i literally eat nothing but ill pretend to so those around me wont freak out.
to be honest i do have incredibly low self-esteem and all that, but i dont think i have an eating disorder, i'm just trying to lose some weight to improve myself (or atleast to improve how i see myself) and this seems to be a fast way to do it. I've lost about 15 lbs this month from 163ish. btw, i'm obsessed with calories and weighing myself now.. and i hate when i gain a lbs or 2. i've gained a lb since yesterday so i had an apple this morning and i'm gonna try not to have anything else today. also im a guy which might be weird, i dont know if its normal for guys to be like this. oh and my question is, does this seem like the begginings of an eating disorder?? cause i really think it's nothing big and that im trying to lose some weight and then ill be fine.

[Perna]

Hey, anarchben, welcome to PsychCentral.

There is no safe, quick weight loss. You have to change your habits but I think you're over doing it and, as you yourself say, becoming "obsessed with calories and weighing myself". That's not good.

Not eating in a balanced fashion and being so obsessed by your weight loss at the exclusion of your "life", even if it were not the beginning of anorexia, it would be a bad habit and habits are not "nothing big. . . and then ill be fine."

I would check with your doctor, have a physical and discuss what's going on with him? There are more tips here:

http://www.consumer.gov/weightloss/setgoals.htm

[Razzleberry]

If you do want to just lose weight for the long-term...then eating less than 1,200 calories is NOT the way to go. It will shut down your metabolism and you will not be able to burn calories as quickly as you used to. Once you get off your "diet" you will gain it all back, and then some.

If all you want to do is lose weight to be *healthy* then I'd suggest sticking to about 1,200 - 1,500 calories a day with moderate exercise. Anything less than that is NOT enough!!

It is not usually advised to lose more than 2 pounds a week after the first 2-3 weeks on a diet plan.

That said...to be honest, you sound like it may be the beginnings of an eating disorder, but you are possibly in denial. Just be careful. If you can honestly control it and it's not taking over your thoughts, then you're fine...but be careful. And seek help before it gets too bad.

[Christina86]

((((((((((anarchben)))))))))))))

Welcome to PC.

Nobody here can diagnose you, but what you're doing sounds troublesome to me, and I assume it is to you as well to be posting here... Do YOU think you have a problem?

There is taking a crash diet too far that won't necessarily lead to the criteria of having an eating disorder... but then anything can progress and cause you more pain in the long run.

Have you talked to your doctor or someone you trust about this?

[anarchben]

honestly, i don't have anyone in my life i trust enough to talk to about this sort of thing. Pretty sad and pathetic but it's true. I wish i did.
I'm not sure if i have a problem (eating disorder wise, i know i do have other problems). I know i'm not being real healthy now and i know its not normal to do what i'm doing and to be thinking and feeling the way i am..

[Christina86]

May I ask what other problems you have? Have you tried talking to a counsellor? Your profile says you're 18, and in Canada that means your parents don't need to be involved in your care anymore...

[anarchben]

in canada i think it's 16 or 17 actually. but anyways..
i have self esteem issues, some anxiety, very self conscious a whole bunch of insecurities and there's not much i like about me =/ there's some more but im not too comfortable talking about that right now.. and basically im eating much much less because of the many things I don’t like about me, my weight is one of em I can change and control the way i want to... At least that’s the way I feel about it.
and as far as a counsellor goes, i dont think id get any more out of that than i would talking to someone on the net.. i dont exactly have the $$ to spend either.

[Christina86]

What about through your school? Guidance counsellor, or if you're in postsecondary, a counsellor through your health services department?

[anarchben]

i dont go to school right now. But i dont think a counsellor or shrink of any kind would do much good... id rather just talk people going through what i am going through who actually want to listen and talk rather than just talking to someone who's only listening because i'm paying for it or because they're required to listen because its their job.