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#1
Aug 05, 2008, 02:06 PM
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I was anorexic 30 years ago. Then I switched to B/P. Then restricting again. Now I'm over eating. I weigh 2x what I should. I keep telling myself that anorexia is "so much better". It doesn't really even occur to me to think of eating healthy instead of any of those ways. I'm anxious today so I'm eating. Not B per se, but it feels bad just to eat. Any food feels like too much food. I want to stop eating or limit my diet to select foods that I know will "help" me to lose weight. Having an ED stinks.
 The only time I really feel good is when I weigh myself and I've lost weight. I hate being dependent on my weight for my mood.
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"What is Real? asked the Velveteen Rabbit one day. "Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real." "Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit. "Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt." -The Velveteen Rabbit by Marjorie Williams |
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#2
Aug 05, 2008, 03:25 PM
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(((internettie)))
I hear you. I'm sorry you are struggling. You said "it feels bad just to eat" If it helps to know you're not alone, I feel exactly the same way. take care, kt |
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#3
Aug 05, 2008, 08:16 PM
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It does help to know that I'm not alone. Thanks.
__________________
"What is Real? asked the Velveteen Rabbit one day. "Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real." "Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit. "Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt." -The Velveteen Rabbit by Marjorie Williams |
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#4
Aug 16, 2008, 12:33 AM
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i can relate to u cuz ive been at both extremes. lowest 102lbs heaviest 211lbs. i lean more towards overeating & overexercising to compensate. have gotten in a bad habit of getting up in the middle of the nite & binging on sweets. i hope since ive started working out again that will ease up. atleast not eat as much when i get up during these times. i restricted a lot in my teens early 20s but got more into "exercise bulimia" i know how frustrating it is to lose weight just to gain it back & have to get it back off. it pisses me off. i hope u can be happy & be where u want to be with your weight.
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im thankful for every day God gives me & for His grace love & mercy He has shown me over & over through all of my screwed up choices |
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