[Porcelain_doll_2004]

Okay so I don't post much on here, most of you know me from in chat. I am actually doing okay in the last 24 hours. But I am starting to slide back into not talking about my ED and I am going back to believing it is not there. I am spending my time anymore trying to convince myself that the ED is not there and that I am fine. I am back to helping others which honestly does me a lot of good mentally. But I stop eating and I stop paying attention to where i am in my own progress. I am and have been eating actually pretty well for me. Still low but not doing bad at all, but I am still losing weight. I am a little concerned about this.

Also about a week ago I spent 2 days collapsing. I am still getting dizzy and having mini blackouts. They are becoming less and less as time goes on but it's still hard to deal with.

I know I need to eat, but I getting back to thinking that I need to to this to myself. I just seem to be lost.

I am stable at the moment, just very lost.

Thanks,

Doll

[darkrunner]

(((((((((((((((((((((((Doll)))))))))))))))))))))))))))

I'm so sorry you are struggling. Did something happen to cause the backslide? Have you learned any coping skills to help you get back on track? I have not started treatment yet for my anorexia so I do not have any ideas for you. I can't imagine going back to normal eating and the idea of gaining weight TERRIFIES me.

I wish you all the best....keep posting and asking for support IRL too.
You can do this.


ktgirl

[iamtwilight]

(((doll)))

please try to eat. i know it is much easier said than done! i'm also terrified of gaining weight, but i remember last year too well, collapsing and blacking out like you, constantly feeling physically bad due to not getting enough nutrition.

and it also made the depression worse. sigh.

hope you will find some light soon - it is very.... confusing, to say the least, to be lost.