[mary39]

...to just 'decide' to be better?
i mean, last year i had problems with eating but when i saw what it was doing to the people who care about me i stopped. It wasn't easy but i did. The thoughts never stopped though, and i never stopped hating what i see in the mirror, but i was eating so everyone was happy.
Until it came back this year twice as bad.
Right now i feel as if i could stop starving myself, but i'm not sure if i'm ready to give up my goal of how thin i want to be, and i'm just so terrified of putting on weight. And is it worth stopping if i know that the thoughts won't go away? I need to know how to fix the emotional aspects as well as the physical, you know? I just don't feel as if these thoughts will ever go away because i've had them for years now. The thoughts of "You're not good enough, you'll never be that thin, don't eat that - the calorie's will go straight to you're thighs - well you get what i mean. Whats the first step i should take to try and fix the emotional aspect of it?? I've tried to get better, it's just so hard, and i've only ever been able to fix the physical aspect. The thoughts have never gone away, 24 hours, 7 days a week, i'm so sick of it. But i do want to get better, so thats a start right?
Anyway, whats the first step i should take? I'm really scared so any advice would be helpful.

[jessica12]

Its great to hear you want to get better and that you understand how much this is hurting the people around you

To help you with the emotional part, you need to feel good. Fruit and veggies and frequent walks will help you. Look in the mirror and find something you like. Your a very beautiful person and a great friend Mary and I'm sure you can at least find one thing you like about yourself, like your smile or your eyes. Then find something that can really bring out the thing you like. For example, if you like the colour of your eyes, try wearing clothes that bring out the colour of your eyes and draws attention to them

Hope this helps Mary

[luckyyouxx]

A person can decided that they don't want this anymore and do want to get better - but I don't think they can decide to stop. It's a disease and unfortunatly diseases can't go away over night. Emotional recovery takes time, and councillers and therapists are what helps you with that. Its way harder to try to stop by yourself than it is with others.
And yes it is worth stopping even if the feelings won't go away right now, atleast your body is safe... I know I try to stop my purging because it triggers bad thoughts, but I am also working on the emotional part at the same time... if you work on both, the other thing will slowly dissapear. Just give it time! But make sure you are getting help, you are worrying me with all of these posts! I hate to see someone else get trapped like me.

[mary39]

Sorry about all the posts, i think it just helps me to get it all out
But i had a breakfast of fruit salad today, and i wrote up a healthy eating plan, and am going for walks everyday, so atm i'm fixing the physical stuff, hopefully the counsellor at school can help with the emotional.
I can do this, i know i can, i deserve to be happy.

[luckyyouxx]

Originally Posted by mary39

Sorry about all the posts, i think it just helps me to get it all out
But i had a breakfast of fruit salad today, and i wrote up a healthy eating plan, and am going for walks everyday, so atm i'm fixing the physical stuff, hopefully the counsellor at school can help with the emotional.
I can do this, i know i can, i deserve to be happy.

ahhh that is so good to hear!
don't appologize for your posts, we are all here for you when you need it! and will listen any time
keep up the good work

[mary39]

thanks, i appreciate it