[cantstopcrying]

That's all it took. 1 Chocolate Chip muffin. I gave in to what I used to call "anger eating" which is now just "stress eating". I wasn't hungry. At all. I was--and still am--super anxious/stress/depressed and I was about to totally lose it, went into the kitchen of work for some water and there were muffins. 1 Chocolate Chip muffin reaffirms that I really do suck! Looking down at my hands today they look so fat--which made me cry and want to eat. But I didn't. Until now. It's stupid how, for the time I'm eating it, I can feel good--how the hell can 1 Chocolate Chip muffin make me feel like life is going to be ok, then 5 minutes later like I'm such a loser?? I didn't need to eat it, didn't want to eat it. I ate it.

[darkrunner]

(((((((((((((cantstopcrying)))))))))))))))))))

Can you just let the muffin just be a muffin?

It doesn't have to mean that you suck.

Please don't be so hard on yourself....
We all make mistakes.
Just keep trying and do the best you can....that is all you can do.

ktgirl

[cantstopcrying]

Thank you. It's funny how a muffin can represent so much and still only be a little muffin in a wrapper. ***sigh***

[darkrunner]

That's a good point....but it means you have all the power.

You can make it mean so much, or mean so little.

Either the muffin represents the fact that you have no willpower, you failed and you suck.....
or it represents a mistake, one weak moment.....that everyone
has occasionally.

Try to see it as the second option, and then let it go.

You will do better next time, or not, but you will keep trying.
And you will always be a good person! Just like most people,
no matter how many mistakes we make, we are good people
doing the best we can
in the present moment.