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#1
Oct 06, 2008, 08:14 PM
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Okay.... I have been resticting myself all day to eat under 681 calories, and doing pretty well with that. I played DDR in workout mode until I burned off 111 calories, and was careful not to binge on anything. To tell the truth, even with my low calorie count [not that low, I know] I'd been eating pretty healthily. And about a half-an hour ago, I broke down and ate 6 cookies. I made a few phone calls, tried to think, but all I could think was "420 calories, oh god, I'm going to get even more fat". I then tried to throw up and am now contemplating whether to go back to DDR on workout mode until I've burned off those 420 calories. I have been thinking about food, and what to eat and not eat all day, only to sabotage myself now. So yeah not in a good place right now, trying to reach out, and I would really appreciate someone reaching back to me.
I know I don't want to be here. I don't want to go down this road again. I know I should just stop it [like my family says] and go back to healthy eating, but I'm stuck in this place right now. I need to control something, and I don't feel right without that control. Anyways, thanks for listening. |
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#2
Oct 06, 2008, 08:34 PM
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hi, it's ok. I suggest you to talk to a therapist, couselor, if you're a student then a guidance counselor, your parent(s), or a social worker. I think that you need to think about all your good qualities and try to make a list of your great qualities from day to day to increase your self-esteem. Body image for people is a very difficult thing to cope with especially with all the media out in the world and how everyone wants to be a size 0, but the truth is that people should be in the appropriate measures of BMI (Body Mass Index). A size 0 isn't always necessary and you should take care of youself first, not your body image. I highly suggest that you see a nutritionist so that they could give you different meal planning suggestions about how to eat healthily and not feel guilty. I've personally seen a nutritionist everyday for 5 months and it helped very much. I am currently right on track with my weight, diet, and exercise. I think that there is a lot going for you to think about, but try to slow yourself down through meditation, deep breathing, etc. I wish you the best of luck. PM me anytime!
__________________
"Life is like photography, you use the negatives to develop"
"When the world says 'Give up,' Hope whispers 'Try it one more time'" ~ Unknown "To dwell in the here and the now does not mean you never think about the past or responsibility, plan for the future. The idea is simply not to allow yourself to get lost in regrets about past or worries about the past or worries about the future. If you are firmly in the present moment, the past can be an object of inquiry, the object of your mindfulness by looking into the past, but you are still grounded in the present moment"  Thich Nhat Hanh |
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#3
Oct 07, 2008, 05:34 AM
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  Dance - those are great suggestions, and good job with your recovery. It sounds like you are doing really well. Good for you.  [quote=xylia;833663] I'm stuck in this place right now. I need to control something, and I don't feel right without that control. [quote] Xylia, I don't have a great answer for you, but I wanted you to know you are not alone. I am struggling right now too. It sounds like you have some great insights into why you are using these behaviors - to 'control something'. It might help to explore this a little more.....maybe with a counselor like Dance suggested? hang in there and keep trying.... ktgirl |
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