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#1
Dec 31, 2008, 10:44 PM
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I'm sorry...I know it's New Year's Eve....or New Year's morning depending on where you are...but I'm just not doing well right now. I'm in Florida with my folks and I had a bathing suit on, which was bad enough. Then yesterday Tori got her hair cut and I was sitting in a chair and looked in the mirror and was so stunned I could hardley breathe. My thighs looked so horrible, I had a roll below my breasts, my face--oh my god my face. I've been so depressed about it all day....all I want to do is eat. My mother made a disparaging comment earlier in the week about my weight, I see myself everyday getting dressed and I disgust myself, but yet I want to eat. Yes, I know, it's comfort eating. I've read the wonderful book, "Eating in the Light of the Moon." I know all about emotional and comfort and anger eating. I so desparately want to get something to eat and I don't need to. I've eaten lunch (all veggies) and dinner and about 8 cookies throughout the day. I'm sitting at home on New Years Eve (and I'm ok with that), I do wish I had someone special to be with. I'm rambling, trying to justify why it's ok to get another cookie, I guess. I just need someone to please tell me what I already know--not to eat.
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____________________________________ "We can't talk at the same time! It doesn't work like that! I talk, you talk, I talk, you talk!!" ~ Peanut 
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#2
Jan 01, 2009, 12:05 AM
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You are beautiful. How do I know? Because I read your words and you are a special person. Please be nice to you. Dont let anyone make u feel bad about u. That is not ok.
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 Happy fall my friends
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 cantstopcrying
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#3
Jan 01, 2009, 03:46 AM
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Quote:
when I compare I dispare. Im older than you are. Our bodies are on a down hill climb , Can'tstop and there is absolutely nothing we can do about it unless you have money Like Cher and You do not. I know I don't It was not that long ago You were being made love to. You can't look as bad as your making yourself sound right now . I'm sorry about your Mom not being able to sing your praises. I know all about that and how much it hurts and how damaging it was for me. I hear how hurtful it is to you right now comming from your Mom. Time to set some boundaries with her , Yes? She is to only build you up . when I feel beautiful I believe I look beautiful. There is nothing more attractive than a glint in the eye and the glow of love shining from a face .I believe its called radiant . why do we allow anyone to keep us from feeling this? got to find that piece of sky that no man or mother or anyone can take away . you go find that and hold on tight. It will be your smiing secrect , that something special that only you possess can'tstop.  Patricia  lake of flowers 
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| Christine1123
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#4
Jan 01, 2009, 08:06 AM
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Amazing. Thank you so much. Your words, both of you. You guys really help me. When I get to the point where I believe 100% what you've written it will be wonderful. Until then I will try to remember to read and re-read these words. Thank you very very much both of you.
__________________
____________________________________ "We can't talk at the same time! It doesn't work like that! I talk, you talk, I talk, you talk!!" ~ Peanut
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#5
Jan 02, 2009, 07:51 AM
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I don't like the sound of you Mum. She doesn't sound like she's helpful to you at all.. Reminds me of my Adoptive Mother. Please try not to take in what she says, because it's what's on the inside that matters the most to a hell of a lot of people, like me, Auroralso and Minime
 and on the inside, you are are beautiful and wonderful person, who cares so much for people and would do anything to help someone in need.If cookies make you feel better, eat them! But maybe eating a salad for lunch or something will make you feel a bit "cleaner" inside. I know I always do when I've been on a bit of a junk food munch. Drinking lots of juice, not squash, and water will help, too. I hope this helps you, honey, because I know how bad it can feel to have parents like that on your back about your weight, when there's absolutely nothing wrong with you. You are beautiful. Remember that
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#6
Jan 02, 2009, 09:34 AM
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Quote:
 I totally agree with MINIME. You are a wonderful parson and I know this because I read the beautiful words you give others who struggle. Don't let others define your self worth. You are special and deserve to feel comfortable with who you are. Try to distract yourself from these thoughts in any way you can. Both you and I know that food cant fill this emotional hole, and will only make you feel worse about yourself later. Take care  *Willow* |
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#7
Jan 02, 2009, 10:04 AM
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i'm so sorry that your mom has such a poor self esteem that
she feels the need to put others down. you are so special and dear to us. it hurts me that she would be so thoughtless and unkind to you.
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Life shouldn't be this hard . 
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#8
Jan 02, 2009, 01:15 PM
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 (((((((((((((((( cantstopcrying )))))))))))))))
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#9
Jan 05, 2009, 06:37 AM
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uhhh excuuuuussse meeee?  who are you talking about here.... I saw pics of you and your daughter. amazon swans.... end of discussion... 
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#10
Jan 05, 2009, 07:00 AM
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You are so sweet, thank you!
__________________
____________________________________ "We can't talk at the same time! It doesn't work like that! I talk, you talk, I talk, you talk!!" ~ Peanut
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