I feel weird

I hate all this. Constantly worring about my body, why cant i just be beautiful, respected, loved. I want someone to look at me, and see beauty. Not fat, ugly me now. But day to day, I feel im getting more beautiful, i wish, i hope. Yesterday I hadnt eaten all day, except for gum and about 1/5 of a 35calorie rice cake. But i still felt fat. My brain is screwing me up, I can't eat, I get tired very quickly, pretty much breath more, I can feel my heart beat alot. But i continue to do so everyday.

There are a lot of negative side effects to not eating - whether it is for a spiritual fast, due to a psychological disorder, or medical conditions like mouth and throat cancer. Palpitations are not uncommon in people who suffer from anorexia, and it only makes sense that the body would be tired if it isn't being supplied with the fuel (calories) needed to energize it.

Other complications include things like insomnia, anemia, hypoglycemia (low blood sugar), poor circulation and thermoregulation (sensitivity to heat and cold), GI disturbances (diarrhea, nausea, etc.), dehydration, electrolyte imbalances, osteoporosis, bradycardia (slow heart rate) and dysrhythmia (abnormal heart rhythm), vitamin and mineral deficiencies (potassium being the most dangerous as it causes heart problems), and increased risk for infection, among other health issues.

These are just some things to consider as you struggle with eating disorders. It's important that, even if you are not ready to start eating full course meals, you at least take some sort of a multivitamin, drink lots of water (and possibly some form of Gatorade or Powerade), and visit your doctor at least annually (especially for a check up on your ol' ticker). Please stay safe as you struggle through this.

You have my love and support.

Thank-you for the helpful advice.
Unfortunately I haven't gotten my period since January. And every month i always get it, but not in the past couple months.
I also have a diary, but my diary never really relies so this is good to write on here too. But thank-you for all the support.
In my christian ethics class, my teacher talks about anorexia nervosa, bulemia and anorexia. Im in the front and I just feel really uncomfortable about it. And she tells us stories about the people and stuff. akes me mega uncomortable the whole time.

I'm sorry about that. It's definitely rough to have intimate experience with something painful being discussed in class (and not feeling like you can say anything makes it worse).

You may want to think about going on some form of hormone therapy (birth control) to help get your period back. Having a period is a good thing (I know... that's really hard to imagine with how we all feel around that time) - it helps cleanse out our bodies and get rid of old/dead tissue.

I know its hard, but do try to do your best in taking care of yourself. I'm glad you get some support here Keep in touch

on monday i did get my period but its barely anything. I have started to eat a bit, just not really infront of people beacuse it makes me uncomfortable, but im slowely going vegan, its pretty easy since ive been a vegetarian my whole entire life. But other wise, its been pretty difficult. i dont really have breakfast, or much of a lunch, and a bit of a dinner. This whole thing is parshly because of my mom, before when id be done my diner i'd have a bit of desert and my mom would always, always make a rude comment, like "oh my gosh, stop eating". she's ruening my whole life!!!