[engineer_kid]

I have a fairly complex question but I think some of you may be able to help answer it. It requires a fair amount of background information so try and bare with me for a moment.

I am currently an engineering student in roughly the last year of my studies. I have had quite a difficult time with school due mostly to severe anxiety and panic problems.

As a kid I was home schooled by my mother. I feel like my education was excellent due to my mother tailoring my school work to me. This worked out very well in my favor due to having had fairly severe anxiety even as a child, especially with respect to certain agoraphobic problems. I was a very social child but I tended to do very poorly in public places that were crowded, loud, unfamiliar, or that did not allow for sufficient movement (Church, Lectures, etc...).

Now being in university and being forced into these situations more often I ended up performing very poorly. I saw several professionals, was diagnosed with GAD and Panic disorder, and underwent treatment, both through medication and a psychologist. While I can now sit through a lecture without freaking out halfway through and driving home I realize that my concentration is still incredibly poor.

My question is could I have some sort of attention disorder that was hidden by my anxiety problems? Difficulties that only appeared after I dealt with the initial severe problems?

My problem is that I do not have any records showing that I had issues as a kid as I was not in a conventional school system, and I rarely saw doctors as I came from a rather large and at the time lower middle class family. My mom says that she does not recall anything that would have pointed to attention problems as a kid but I am wondering how much of that was covered up by me just being terrified in most situations where that could be judged?

Things that I do remember about my childhood, related to attention span:

-All of my school books had to be as free from illustrations as possible as they would distract me from my work.

-I could focus really well on something I wanted to do but I could only focus on that one thing. Typically, it was legos or cars or stuff like that. When asked to do something else I could only do that other task while thinking about how I was going to go back to doing the thing I wanted to do afterward.

-I could read an interesting book but if the book was boring I would read a section, and then re-read it, and then read it again and still feel like I didnt understand what I was reading.

-My parents were avid church-goers but I don't remember ever being able to concentrate to a sermon for longer than about 5 minutes.

-Certain topics would dominate my conversations no matter what. If I wanted to talk about computers I sure as heck was going to regardless of what the other person was talking about.

-I would "Space Out" constantly. I would enter my own thought process and everything else would all but completely cease to exist.

Things that happen now that have me concerned:

-I sometimes forget to do things like shower or brush my teeth.

-I don't watch television because I can't watch a full episode without losing attention.

-I can only take notes in class for the first few minutes before it becomes just scribbles on the page.

-Every project I have is 80% done. I have driven a car with no dash and one fender flare missing for 2 years now. I have all of the parts in a box..., not to mention the motorcycles in the garage.

-I am a college student with 4 crappy vehicles because I tend to buy or trade impulsively. I have not lost a lot of money but it is sometimes a hassle to undo things that I do impulsively.

-I break rules and laws occasionally for no reason. I constantly circumvent authority and have no patience for "using the correct channels"

-I am somewhat loud and disruptive in classes I find uninteresting. The alternative is to either not go to class, or not stay seated while in class.

I know this was long but I was curious on to if I was just paranoid or if I might be on to something. The problem is I don't know how many of these behaviors are considered "normal" or whatnot.

Also, how would I ask my doctor about these concerns without looking like I am trying to get stimulants? Quite frankly they are rampantly abused at the university and I don't want to look like I am just trying to get more drugs.

[pegasus]

Hello engineer kid,

Anxiety is an awful thing and it can affect our ability to concentrate. I would have thought that the psychologist would have picked up on any other underlying mental health issues but it does sound to me like there could be. I would have a go at these quizzes >>>> Psychological Tests and Quizzes and the The Sanity Score - Test Your Mental Wellness These will give you more of an idea of what might be going on. I believe you can print out the results and take them to your doctor.

Take care.

[engineer_kid]

When I was seeing the psychologist she mentioned the possibility of ADD/ADHD. My GP also did back when I was having severe anxiety problems. However, at the time I asked both professionals to focus on the anxiety and panic problems I was experiencing because they were severely hindering my ability to perform in school.

I took many of the tests that you mentioned above:

-Sanity Score of 50

Other Tests:
-ADD/ADHD of 38 (indicated Adult ADD/ADHD)
-Anxiety 26 (moderate)
-Bipolar 22 (Mild Bipolar)
-Mania 33 (mild/moderate)
-OCD 9 (Probable or At Risk)

I think I may bring this up to my GP at the end of the month wen I see him next. Again I am mostly concerned about having trouble with my concentration as I find it to be very poor.

[patches4.0]

Hey Kid

I don't know about your symptoms and can only speak for myself. When I first became ill it was anxiety and panic that came out. I went to my employee assistance counselor and he explained what was happening to me as anxiety and panic as I had no idea what was wrong. But he also said I fear a deep depression underlying it, he was so right. Within about three weeks of that visit I was in a major depression like I had never seen before. My diagnosis has changed over the years from clinical depression to major depression to bi-polar disorder to schizophrenia and now to schizoaffective with major depression. So I don't know how all this happened or what came first and it really doesn't matter. How we got somewhere we don't want to be is not important, it is how we get out is. So concentrate on recovery from whatever it is that is bothering you at any given time, it will surely change. I don't know if this answers your question or not but I hope it helps.

Jamie