Hi, some background on my situation:

I have been dating this girl in Australia for almost three years now. I live in Canada so it's a long distance relationship however, it's just as real and I feel a lot for her. We have seen each other in person for the first time a couple of months ago she stayed here for two months. This anxiety problem sort of arose initially when we had met in person and my parents found out about all of this. I still live with them (I'm 22 years old) so they were bound to find out. They had a huge fit due to them not liking her appearance she is over weight however I honestly find her gorgeous anyway that and the distance. I was yelled at, cussed at, my parents had an emotional breakdown literally - I know completely out of hand tell me about it and basically my self esteem went way down. Regardless I still spent time with her and I talk to her still to this day. I love her so much I could honestly see myself spending my life with her but I get this lump in my throat now and almost heightened senses and heart rate when someone mentions our relationship or I initially talk to her.

All I can think of is this brought on depression and anxiety in me. And I so badly just want to be 100% and happy with my choices and be with her. I am done with what my parents think I am going to do it regardless it's just will these feelings go away eventually?

Also, recently I've noticed that I do prefer bigger women when it comes to looks. It wasn't something I thought about when I first started dating her I mean I found her attractive but that wasn't even on my mind. Now that people mention it though I do like larger sized women it's just more attractive to me. I don't understand why people feel the need to ridicule others for this.

Welcome to PC, Dan24X. It sounds like you know that you are really interested in this girl.

Have you tried explaining to your parents that you really like her? It would also be a good idea to share why you think she is a great person. I believe you could also benefit from seeing a therapist in order to help you with communicating with your parents.

You might also trying asking this question over in the Relationships & Communication Forum. There is a great bunch of people over there that could relate to you and help you out.

Best Wishes!

[pegasus]

Hello Dan24X, welcome to Psych Central.

Love is a wonderful thing isn't it! I would think that the distance thing creates some anxiety and sadness naturally and your situation at home does not help. You are 22 now so you are an adult and it is your life. It must be hard having that reaction from your parents but their approval is not absolutely necessary. It sounds like you love this lady, are you really going to let your parents dictate your life for you?

The solution to me seems to be for you to move out of your parents home, this is a natural step anyway and I think it would give you that independence to do what you want for you to be happy in the long run. Moving out can be stressful as is any change but ultimately it will be better for your mental health and your relationships all round.

If you feel that the anxiety and depression is too much, please go and see your doctor, they may suggest medication and therapy. Here is a link to some online tests you can do to see what is going on with you >>> The Sanity Score - Test Your Mental Wellness and Psychological Tests and Quizzes

Best of luck!

[Mr. Michael]

Hi Dan24x,

So it sounds like you really enjoy this woman but your parents don't approve. Do you know for sure the exact reason they don't approve? Is it because she is larger? Or is it because she lives so far away and maybe they don't want to think that you could possibly move far away from them. I think it would very beneficial to talk with your parents. Tell them exactly how you feel and find out exactly how they feel. The truth is you don't know for sure where your relationship with the woman will go. You just know that right now you have strong feelings for her.

I'd let your parents know that you have strong feeling for her and their reaction has been very difficult for you. Then also try to understand them, and put yourself in their shoes whether you or agree to disagree. The key is to address the issue, don't shy from it. And number 1, do what's right for you!