Howdy,

Well, I'll try not to make this too lengthy of a message...I'm looking for information concerning what a person with little to no money should do in order to get some professional insight as to what may be wrong with them. I've had what they call behavioral issues as far back as I can remember. When I was very young(5-6) I was diagnosed with depression and prescribed with a few different drugs, but the treatments I received over the years did not turn out so well for me(for a variety of reasons) and I stopped taking medication at the age of 12 or so. Another thing I'd like to mention here is that I was in an automotive accident when I was 11 years old. I was on a small shuttle bus heading to school when we were struck head-on by a man going quite fast. It was my first and last visit to an emergency room and I walked away from this without a bruise after having some glass shards removed from my face and eyes. It was a very violent crash with one death and some serious injures sustained and it's a bit of a wonder how I walked away from it without any serious health concerns. I turned thirty years old recently and adapting to life as a human has always proved difficult for me. At the age of sixteen, for reasons involved with me not going to school, I ended up back in the hands of some psychiatrists who gave me a rather extensive psycho evaluation...which turned up with little for anyone to really be concerned about. But looking back...I was a young man who liked to wander in thought and in life and I had a point to prove...and at the time I had the energy to prove myself and disprove the "professionals" and I was all too familiar with their methods of psychoanalysis. Maybe I wasn't too helpful for either them or myself at that time in my life...I don't know. In any case, after the developing and hormonal stage of my mental growth started slowing down in my mid twenties, it was like a candle burned out in me. My interest in social life, friends, family, having children, maintaining a job or even a place to sleep...it all seems so distant and unimportant. Now, being the curious little monkey that I am, I've dug through enough literature in the fields of psychology and other behavioral studies to want to puke and take a dirt nap, but I keep looking for any information I can find to try and help myself understand where I'm coming from.
After recently again going through one of my "phases", I lost my job, am about to lose my car and I have little to no regard or concern about these things at the moment. This is a cyclic behavior in me. And even when it doesn't interfere with my daily life, I struggle to relate to people as I see them relate to one another. I think it comes right down to that I don't "want" to. A psychologist would tell me that it's a severe case of depression and that I have schizoid tendencies, but I have a notion that this route might take me in the wrong direction if I don't rule out some other factors first. Simply put...it's going to be my last resort. I went to a free clinic after losing a good deal of weight along with yet another fatigued and uninterested social state. Needless to say, the tests weren't very extensive and other than poking at my thyroid, grabbing my testicles and checking my blood for any STD's or abnormalities, not much happened and everything came out looking healthy. In a lot of ways I was kind of hoping to hear about some issues. Putting a name to a physical ailment that you can point at with a microscope or an x-ray is an easier pill to swallow than having a community of people who make models of the mind with rather elaborate and cleverly articulated idioms tell you about a disorder you have that, in most cases, can't be directly observed with a microscope. There's far too much evidence of psychotherapy doing a lot of people a lot of good, for any sensible human to ignore. But in my opinion, this is a science in it's infancy. They're people who've had too much time to hypothesis and too little time looking at the data and related issues which can be measured. This is all beside my point and I don't mean to insult anyone in particular...

In any case, what I'd like to inquire about are places I could go-be it clinical trials, charitable causes or whatever,- that could both give me a structural and functional neuroimaging test. Even if it's a situation where little professional interpretation of the scans are present, I could at least walk away with some information that I could take elsewhere for help. This may all sound like a severe case of hypochondria to whoever is reading this, but when I consider that I was once a child diagnosed with depression and I was on more psychoactive medication than they would give to a horse these days, and also that my head may have sustained injuries that have long gone unnoticed...I can't help but want to take a good look at what really is happening before I find myself doing the cognitive tango with another therapist...Any ideas or information would be appreciated...Thank you for reading.

-Beau

[pegasus]

Hello Beau, nice to meet you, welcome to Psych Central.

Will your doctor not refer you for these tests? It could be that the accident from years ago could also be a factor in your mental health issues. I know you said you had some tests but I think you need to push it again.

Here are some simple online tests you can do The Sanity Score - Test Your Mental Wellness and Psychological Tests and Quizzes

You might like to look at this link regarding research and participation >>> Psych Central - Clinical Trials in Mental Health