[pianolover]

Hi everyone! This is my first post on this forum, so bear with me >~<;;;

Anyways, I've been seeing my current therapist for about a year. She is very nice, but there are a few things I have noticed about her that have become a bit bothersome to me. Lately we've been having appointments once or twice a month, as things in my life have become more stable. I've been facebook friends with my T for a few months now, and I've noticed that lately, she seems to comment on almost EVERYTHING I post. I'm talking not even useful comments, comments like "Lol". Also, at the end of every appointment, and at the beginning of my last few appointments, too, she's given me the loooongest hugs. I'm not a huggy person unless you're one of my close friends, and it's a bit much and makes me uncomfortable when she constantly hugs me, and doesn't ask permission for it ("I need a hug!" she'll always say). Also, she brings up things that I've said I don't want to talk about, and she tends to laugh at things I say a lot, which is alright, but once or twice, when I've come across a problem, she's started laughing, and said, "You're screwed!". I don't know what to do anymore. I luckily had my appointment cancelled for this month, but I really don't want to see her next month, in fear that she'll hug me and talk about how much she's 'missed' me (she does this quite a lot). I guess it's 'sweet' and what-not, but it's a bit too much for a person who likes their space.

Any advice, or input from you guys would be great~ Thank you so much in advance

[Christina86]

RUN, don't walk, away from this therapist!

If they're not respecting your boundaries (re: hugs) and the inappropriateness (unethical) of being your Facebook friend, and her way of responding to your life concerns...

This therapist is not a good fit for you. I don't think they'd be a good fit for anyone looking for an ethical and responsible therapist.

[pegasus]

Hello pianolover, welcome to Psych Central.

Yes that does sound unethical with no boundaries and the language is totally inappropriate.

You might like to post in the Psychotherapy forum and get more feedback from others there. Take care and good luck in finding a good therapist.

[Calm]

Wow, it appears she's fulfilling her needs over yours. Maintaining good boundaries in therapy is crucial to a healthy therapeutic environment. She seems to have missed that lesson. You do have options. Explaining to her how you feel about the hugging and the Facebook thingy would be one option to go for. See how she responds to what you express to her and how it makes you feel. If a therapist hugged me without my permission, he/she would probably get smacked. I have been hugged but that was done with my requesting a hug from my T. Your permission has to be granted, and also the therapist has to be receptive to giving hugs, too.

Pretty much what you explained does give me the creeps and highly doubt I'd continue with her as my T. Good luck with whatever decision you make and hope things work out for the best.

[glok]

A good relationship with your therapist is critical to achieving meaningful results.