[finebutnotokay]

Hi, i've been on antidepressants for a while now but i'm too tired of telling people that i can't drink because I'm on 'antibiotics'. i really don't want people to know that I'm on antidepressants for multiple reasons but people keep asking why i'm not drinking (as at my age its just the done thing really) and i always get stuck on what to answer without being made fun of or thought of strangely?

[unaluna]

I'm old, but i just say i dont drink, i just do drugs. Everybody laughs, somebody asks if they can have some, then they just move on.

[DSM-3.1415926]

It's no one's business why you don't, but you could just say you've tried it and don't find pleasure in it, or that you have to drive that night. None of them will think of you strangely after they get a DUI bust.

[glok]

Hello, finebutnotokay. I told people I had to quit. Frankly, I did not care what they thought.

I don't drink because it worsens my mood. Frankly, I don't care what others' say when I decline. Like others mentioned above, it's really none of their business.

My hope is someday you won't feel "shame" about taking meds to manage your mood. I've heard it said more than once that the stigma is worse than the illness.

Good luck.

[eskielover]

You can just tell them that alcohol isn't ok with the medication you are taking.....they don't need to know WHAT medication it is...& it's really NONE of their business......sadly, peer pressure is a pain.....when you get older...I hope you are able to outgrow that effect......I started young with not allowing it to bother me because my values weren't much like the peers around me in the first place & I liked my values more than I valued the opinions of my peers....so it was no big deal.

Don't let the pressure get to you

[rightmeds]

I say whatever I want or don't want to say. Usually, it's , I don't drink alcohol. I can't drink that, I'm allergic. I used to drink, but I don't anymore. I'm on a prescription that doesn't mix with it. I have enough vices, don't need this too. I'll have a good time just hanging with you guys.

[finebutnotokay]

Originally Posted by eskielover

You can just tell them that alcohol isn't ok with the medication you are taking.....they don't need to know WHAT medication it is...& it's really NONE of their business......sadly, peer pressure is a pain.....when you get older...I hope you are able to outgrow that effect......I started young with not allowing it to bother me because my values weren't much like the peers around me in the first place & I liked my values more than I valued the opinions of my peers....so it was no big deal.

Don't let the pressure get to you

yeah i know i really don't want peer pressure to play any kind of part in this but it's just very difficult when at parties i would literally be the only one not drinking. i understand that its no ones business but i just don't want to be accused of being a bore etc. i really would love to not care what other people think about me but i do thank you so much

[finebutnotokay]

Originally Posted by sunnyfan

I don't drink because it worsens my mood. Frankly, I don't care what others' say when I decline. Like others mentioned above, it's really none of their business.

My hope is someday you won't feel "shame" about taking meds to manage your mood. I've heard it said more than once that the stigma is worse than the illness.

Good luck.

its not necessarily shame that i feel, i just don't want to tell people because i don't want to ever have to mention how i got to this point and/or the reasons for, which would certainly be asked about if i mentioned i was on antidepressants. i know its nobodies business but i just have this thing inside me that cares too much about what others think, thanks for the advice though

[healingme4me]

I'm getting the sense that, the designated driver angle, won't work in your situation?

Do you have at least one close friend to confide in, who can play wingman, so to speak?

[finebutnotokay]

Originally Posted by healingme4me

I'm getting the sense that, the designated driver angle, won't work in your situation?

Do you have at least one close friend to confide in, who can play wingman, so to speak?

i'm only learning to drive right now, i want to drive asap though just so that excuse is a bit more reasonable? as a lot of the ones i've already said receive strange looks from people and then i find myself stuttering because i can't explain aha! yeah, i think i might do that as it's really helpful but it's just difficult actually getting to the point of explaining.

[Perna]

I would just blame it on the doctor, "Some pills the doctor has me taking; I don't know". Just play dumb and like you are following doctor's orders to not drink and don't really know much about it or find it very interesting to talk about.

[healingme4me]

Perhaps, bring your own, water/juice/soda bottle, to avoid the decline and asking for non alcoholic drink? It, can also, be a little mind trick, to help avoid the discussion.

[eskielover]

Originally Posted by healingme4me

Perhaps, bring your own, water/juice/soda bottle, to avoid the decline and asking for non alcoholic drink? It, can also, be a little mind trick, to help avoid the discussion.

Good idea & it can also help with the possibility of someone trying to spike your drink while you aren't looking just to see what might happen....some friends aren't always the best friends.....protect yourself from the subject all together.....just say....thanks, I brought my own drink (byob - bring your own bottle)

[eskielover]

Originally Posted by finebutnotokay

yeah i know i really don't want peer pressure to play any kind of part in this but it's just very difficult when at parties i would literally be the only one not drinking. i understand that its no ones business but i just don't want to be accused of being a bore etc. i really would love to not care what other people think about me but i do thank you so much

Might be a good topic to work on in therapy.....it's important especially when we are young to not be controlled by peer pressure. The desire to fit in & not stand out & be accepted can really mess up our real values & then we look back with regret rather than pride that we were able to stand up for ourself.

[finebutnotokay]

Originally Posted by healingme4me

Perhaps, bring your own, water/juice/soda bottle, to avoid the decline and asking for non alcoholic drink? It, can also, be a little mind trick, to help avoid the discussion.

thats such a good idea! thank you so much i've never thought of this!

[finebutnotokay]

Originally Posted by eskielover

Might be a good topic to work on in therapy.....it's important especially when we are young to not be controlled by peer pressure. The desire to fit in & not stand out & be accepted can really mess up our real values & then we look back with regret rather than pride that we were able to stand up for ourself.

thank you so much for your suggestions and concern but therapy is not something i think will help. i'm very closed off and i like it that way because i feel more in control than when i let my emotions out in bursts and it all goes a little bit crazy! it's not that i don't feel proud to be who i am, i would just rather stay away from all situations where i don't have to talk about myself!! thanks again though

[finebutnotokay]

Originally Posted by Perna

I would just blame it on the doctor, "Some pills the doctor has me taking; I don't know". Just play dumb and like you are following doctor's orders to not drink and don't really know much about it or find it very interesting to talk about.

thanks this is another good idea have you ever been in this situation before?

[pegasus]

Hello finebutnotokay, I wonder if you can get to a point of feeling proud about not drinking rather than feeling bad about it. A friend of mine does not drink simply because his best friend only has one kidney so he doesn't drink out of respect for his friend. There are many things you can say if you feel you need to justify it. You could say that you can have a good time without it so you don't need it. That often makes others think about their own drinking habits a little more. Or if you feel you have to say something, you can just say it is for health reasons.