[InsideBlackBox]

Is it just me or does anyone ever feel engulfed in our disorder?
I mediate bipolar.
I research bipolar
I study bipolar.
I write about my disorder.
I'm always talking bipolar
Is there anything else that exists in my chaiotic black box ?

[Travelinglady]

Hi, InsideBlackBox, and welcome! I am sure that some people are really wrapped up in their "bipolarness." But after 14 years, I actually don't think about it very much. My meds and therapy are keeping me stable, so it's not so much of an issue.

But I'm sure people who are recently diagnosed would be really caught up with it for awhile.

[Altered Moment]

For me when I am very deep in depression it is all I think about it seems. At least I know it was true in the last very bad one. Constantly read about it and thought about it and wanted to talk about it.

Then after I started doing much better I don't think about it so much. I did for awhile but then figured it wasn't so healthy and then I just naturally didn't think about it as much because it wasn't affecting me.

I was diagnosed 20 years ago. But in recent years it has had such a huge impact on my life that I think that is why.

[InsideBlackBox]

Thank you, both for sharing your experience living with our diseases. This is exactly why I sought this site and the reason for my post. It's my first thread as I feel intimidated in sharing my thoughts out loud.
Since my second return for medical treatment and compliance for 2 1/2 yrs now. I was able to be out of work which, made my treatment plan much easier to follow through. I've had visits to pMD that has taken a slow weeded to every 2 months. My therapy was weekly until now being every 2 wks. so my treatment plan has been intense and frequent that I couldn't help but, living, breathing, eating my disorder.
I love it. All this regurgitation has helped increase my self worth, find forgiveness, and feel less shame. It's made me passionate about wanting to bring mental awareness to the lay folks who can't relate and minimize their poor judgement.
Believe me when I convey that as a nurse in the medical profession, I was taken off guard by the level of discrimination I received. You would be surprised how rumours spread through an organization from one hospital to the next.
There was a time in my profession when we nurses empathiezed a fellow nurse with mental illness and provided the support by holding her position. Those days are long gone.
Did the media or reality shows encourage the changing social increase of discrimination seen today? I just don't know but, I do know I have found a new purpose and passion to share my life's story and bring whatever hope and faith that I can that our disorder is not something to be feared, or stand us in judgement, more importantly, pretend we don't exist.

[InsideBlackBox]

Originally Posted by Travelinglady

Hi, InsideBlackBox, and welcome! I am sure that some people are really wrapped up in their "bipolarness." But after 14 years, I actually don't think about it very much. My meds and therapy are keeping me stable, so it's not so much of an issue.

But I'm sure people who are recently diagnosed would be really caught up with it for awhile.

I love Robert Frost's poetry, particulatly this one.

[Trippin2.0]

I actively stopped being engulfed almost 3 years ago.

Living eating and breathing Bipolar was unhealthy for me. It made me one dimensional, which personally I find sad and boring (besides I need to work really hard at balance) and then more importantly, I was way more symptomatic during that time. Always in and out of my pdocs office for a med tweak, always cycling through some type of epic episode, there was just zero reprieve. For me.

Since I'm no longer engulfed I'm less symptomatic, but I don't by any means ignore my disorder, its just not my central focus anymore, it simply is.
Kinda like my eye colour.

[monkeybrains21]

It's just like any other disease or disorder. We as humans want to control and in part I controlling we need to know what we are up against. We also like to know and figure out what may help ease our symptoms.

We know for heart failure sometimes sodium levels get elevated so we get put on low sodium diets. For RA the pain could be so intense but pain meds are expensive and addictive not to mention controlled. We will research it and see what we can to alleviate the pain without those pain meds.

With bipolar or schizophrenia or PTSD or anything that has to do with our mental or emotional well being it's the same. We need to find what works so we can have lives. We can work and have families and friends and go places without fear that we will have an episode or a breakdown or just freak out. (I freak out in some situations an have severe car anxieties). We want to learn to cope to be independent.

[porsch101]

Originally Posted by Trippin2.0

I actively stopped being engulfed almost 3 years ago.

Living eating and breathing Bipolar was unhealthy for me. It made me one dimensional, which personally I find sad and boring (besides I need to work really hard at balance) and then more importantly, I was way more symptomatic during that time. Always in and out of my pdocs office for a med tweak, always cycling through some type of epic episode, there was just zero reprieve. For me.

Since I'm no longer engulfed I'm less symptomatic, but I don't by any means ignore my disorder, its just not my central focus anymore, it simply is.
Kinda like my eye colour.

I am new here and i am wondering about how the doctors properly diagnose Bipolar verses depression, mood , and anxiety? What meds did you go on and what made you decide to go off ? I am trying to help my daughter right ow, we have just been faced with what is really going on. I would appreciate any help...... Also i am new to this forum and i may get lost in trying to find you again or this particular page again. :

[Trippin2.0]

Originally Posted by porsch101

I am new here and i am wondering about how the doctors properly diagnose Bipolar verses depression, mood , and anxiety? What meds did you go on and what made you decide to go off ? I am trying to help my daughter right ow, we have just been faced with what is really going on. I would appreciate any help...... Also i am new to this forum and i may get lost in trying to find you again or this particular page again. :

I sent you a private message