[Mindinpieces]

I had nexaplon which is not a psychiatric medicine at all, it's a contraception but it seem to help stop my month cycle effecting me or that could have been I was on anti depressants as well. I am still on 20 citalopram daily but since the nexaplon ran out I have been moody swearing messaging work colleagues angry message without think who or what I messaging in tears all the time which I can't control soon as I stop I start again I am starting to think really depressed and what worse my college induction is in morning which I am probably going to mess up and next week I have interview within company I work for promotion to full time job but I will not be in fit state as I can't get appointment to get nexaplon replaced at mo and even if I did I think it would take a week before it got back into my system. Why does this have to happen to me I feel like I destined to always feel better off dead and this up till now me so called recovering is just fake lies like pulling wool over sheeps eyes.




I have also realised I am depeant on medicine as soon as the chemical in my body change I can't cope I don't have the mentally to function myself and I feel terrible now how can I stop this quick before I slip back into really bad depression and mess everything up in short space when it has taken me over a year to build myself back to this as just before I nearly lost everything including my life

I really just need some advice and wise words as I don't know where to turn

[pegasus]

Hello Mindinpieces, please go back to your doctor as soon as possible, you have great intuition in knowing that you need the nexaplon and perhaps an adjustment is needed in your psychiatric medications too. I hate to see anyone suffer, go get the medication sorted.

[healingme4me]

Did it fall out on its own? Certainly need to get that checked, your gyn needs to give a new implant. I've heard of mood changes on it. If it was helping on, what's the barrier to a new one?
Are you in therapy, on top of seeing a PDoc?

[Mindinpieces]

Well it didn't fall out it's inserted in upper arm and stays in until a antiseptic is rub on arm and doctor removes, replaces type thing but the chemical last for 3 years then run out my three years are up now. I have come to conclusion it was shock of having a normal period again and things in my life just tip me over edge to fall apart for a day but I done well and have stayed stable and things are ok at mo but I haven't been into work as I am still on holiday at mo so next week we will soon see if I can really handle things. College induction went well and was over quickly just really talk on course, how we get marked what books me to get and just chat amount your other fellow students you be on course with so that was not too hard to get through. I have been to clinic as there was long waiting list at doctors and because the hours I work and days I work the doctors where not really able to offer me anything suitable, I can't take any more time off work already book all holiday off as need doing by certain date company policy, so that's why I had to go to clinic Friday they can fit me in on day I am off work but have to wait till end of September but that's the best so I just have to try keep it together until then.

[Mindinpieces]

Well just on phone to doctors hopefully I can get appointment feeling bad about bothering doctor but I had doule vodka Tuesday night that I think that's the only thing put me in good place to get through Wednesday. Plus I will by Saturday be working 41 hours at work when I am only contracted for 24 hours a week things are really that tough in my job at moment and we cohort staffed plus considering I start college in 2 weeks and my interview for other position is tomorrow i guess it doesn't hurt to be careful and check my tablets are working the fact that I question a lot lately whether they are working and things are getting to me and I am starting to react to people differently means something might be up and considering all what's happening if I don't contact my doctor then things may easily escalate and I may not be in place then to do something about it or I just end up ruining all my hard effort and have to rebuild everything for square one I really don't want to have to live through losing everything I have now because at moment my life is good is just I need to be stable to accept that and turn my ending around this time that I do have a good life and I am capable if living not messing up what could have been... But still I feel bad for making appointment