[VMblue]

I have been going back and forth on this for a while now. I still live with my parents and it would be so much easier to just tell them that I am suffering depression than to make up all the excuses.

Any ideas as to how I should do it? I considered sending them an e-mail and see what happens. This is really difficult for me as they have their own issues and I don't want to contribute, but at the same time it would make things so much easier for me.

[Can't Stop Crying]

I think you should tell your parents. You need to take care of you. Maybe try to sit down with them and start by saying...I have something to talk to you about.

Their issues are their issues. You need to make sure that you are looking out for yourself.

How do you think they would respond to an email?

[VMblue]

I don't know how they would respond to an e-mail. I know they are going to be angry as we have an open relationship with each other and I have been hiding it for a while. Or maybe they will be relieved because they have been noticing the changes in me (sleeping, crying ect)?

[Can't Stop Crying]

I still think you should talk to them. Maybe they are concerned about you and will be relieved to understand.
I know for me, even if it is something I don't really want to hear, I want my children to share with me what is going on with them, especially when I can see there is something troubling them.
My oldest son has emailed things to me that he feels uncomfortable talking about....but I think we both feel better when we actually have a conversation. The emails kinda open the door to a conversation.

[BeaFlower]

VMblue, I'm in a similar situation: I'd like to tell my parents that I probably have OCD, but at the same time I don't want. If you feel more comfortable with the email send it, the important thing is that you ask for help. But I agree that after the email it's better to have a conversation...surely they'll want it too.
Make us know if there are news!

[VMblue]

Thanks for the great advise. I sat them down and told them as much as I feel comfortable with. My dad does not understand entirely but my mom is really understanding. And they will support me through it.

[BeaFlower]

Wow, it's wonderful that you told them! I'm proud of you. Thanks for making us know. I think that also your father will understand more, step by step. Good luck!

[Perna]

I would have your doctor talk to your father so maybe he can understand it better.

[Slamjammer]

"...still live with my parents"

Ok, so how old are you? 20's? 30's? 40's?

How "depressed" are you? Have you been clinically diagnosed, or are you just feeling a bit "down".

Is your "depression" really preventing you from living on your own, unassisted?

How long do you plan to live with mom and dad? What changes would allow you to move out? Do you contribute anything to household income?

Questions, questions, questions.

[brainhi]

One thing at a time.... so not to get too overwhelmed and try to escape from all of it. Good Luck!!!!

[VMblue]

Oh wow Slamjammer. That actually hurt. I am 29. Still living with my parents because studying part time eats a lot of my income. I also contribute to the family income. On how "depressed" I am. I have been diagnosed with major depression and post traumatic stress. What changes would allow me to move out? A better paying job. Seeing that I just got retrenched in a country with a 24% unemployment rate and I don't have high hopes on that one.
Word, I am crying now. Thanks for this.

[Blue_Bird]

Originally Posted by VMblue

Oh wow Slamjammer. That actually hurt. I am 29. Still living with my parents because studying part time eats a lot of my income. I also contribute to the family income. On how "depressed" I am. I have been diagnosed with major depression and post traumatic stress. What changes would allow me to move out? A better paying job. Seeing that I just got retrenched in a country with a 24% unemployment rate and I don't have high hopes on that one.
Word, I am crying now. Thanks for this.

Don't cry I was just about to respond to that person's post, it's ridiculous. It kinda hurt me and wasn't even directed at me.

[BeaFlower]

Don't cry darling The post seemed a bit rude also to me, but maybe he didn't want to offend you...maybe it wanted to be an encouragement to try to live alone. Maybe he didn't understand well your situation. Let's wait a bit, maybe Slamjammer will add something to explain what he wanted to say.
But don't worry VMblue Now you talked to your parents about your problem, and this is the important thing. You have been great

[melanson86]

I am so happy that you told your parents ! you are really brave. Take care of yourself and good luck on your journey to being depression free.

[Slamjammer]

Originally Posted by VMblue

Oh wow Slamjammer. That actually hurt. I am 29. Still living with my parents because studying part time eats a lot of my income. I also contribute to the family income. On how "depressed" I am. I have been diagnosed with major depression and post traumatic stress. What changes would allow me to move out? A better paying job. Seeing that I just got retrenched in a country with a 24% unemployment rate and I don't have high hopes on that one.
Word, I am crying now. Thanks for this.

These comments were not intended to be hurtful or critical, but are questions that popped into my mind as I read this thread.

You are looking for advice and solace, and the information necessary to provide any meaningful response, other than some "hand-holding", was missing.

At 29 years of age, if your parents are still providing a roof over your head and food on the table, they are certainly entitled to know that you have been diagnosed. In fact, I'm not sure how or why you have avoided the conversation thus far. It's good you have talked to them about it.

The next step, of course, is to formulate a plan that will put you on your own two feet as an independent, self supporting member of society.

I wish you the best of luck!

[ChildlikeEmpress]

VMBlue, you did so well to talk to your parents about this. I know that can be scary as not all parents take these things well and I understand the feeling of not wanting to burden them. But you are not a burden, you are suffering.
Giant hugs to you, please don't cry. Sometimes people will say things and truly be well-meaning, but it comes across as hurtful / shaming or trite as they might not be able to step into your shoes. They may just be trying to help according to how they would personally deal with the situation. But you are you, and not them. Don't let it cause you in any way to be shamed -- you are doing well to be getting help, being open with your parents, and posting here.