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In a week and a half, an old friend is coming to visit.
- I met this friend in 2009 for a weekend and had a psychotic episode when I returned home. (It was pretty awful and lasted for several weeks - maybe even a year to some degree).
- I met this friend 6 months later and started feeling that he was using magic or ESP to influence events. Also I thought he was trying to drug me at one point. Some of these events may have been hallucinations. I didn't have a breakdown, but I was glad to say goodbye.

So I don't know how to prepare for this upcoming visit. I thought about carrying some pepper spray, because I worry that he was trying to drug me and rape me last time. On the other hand, I would not want to spray my friend with pepper spray if my suspicions are unwarranted. (I know they are probably silly delusions, but I don't know how to explain my memories of his past behaviors any other way.) I am a middle aged man, and my friend is also a middle aged man but I think he is probably bisexual. I am probably heterosexual as far as I can tell.

I feel comfortable with the meeting right now, but I wonder if I should be preparing myself psychologically by reading something?

thanks for any advice.

P.S. I know I should have been preparing for this by seeing a therapist, but I did not do that like I should have. Partly, I want to talk to the therapist later about other problems besides psychosis. The psychosis is embarrassing and makes me sound silly. I would rather not tell the therapist about psychosis when I get help for these other problems.

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I'm creating a copy of this question in the schizophrenia forum. I hope that is o.k. I wasn't sure which forum was more appropriate.