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#1
Oct 03, 2014, 10:45 AM
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Hi!
When a person fall in love (or have feelings for someone) it is something emotional. The question is: how much does the person need the emotions or the other person. Most of the time it seems to me that "i love you" is more like "i love certain emotions i get from you". Now I don't know how psychology defines love (i'm a philosopher myself). If you one day lost the emotions/feelings you had would you still want to be with that person? I agree that emotions (etymology: moving out) make us do things and that can be good. Some people say that deep inside our hearts (and brain) we are like little children crying (while not knowing what we long for) and just want to be loved. What do you as a specialist in psychology have to say about this? Please give me some wisdom! |
 bluekoi
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#2
Oct 04, 2014, 09:19 AM
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I am no specialist.
Some people would argue that it is all purely biological and oxytocin and all that, and the need to procreate. I think it is much more than that. Initially it may be biological, emotional attraction but I think for people to stay together for years it has to become something much deeper than that. I think in general we all want to be accepted and valued by our fellow humans. If you accept me as I am and value me and don't judge me I would say you love me.
__________________
The "paradox" is only a conflict between reality and your feeling of what reality "ought to be." -- Richard Feynman Major Depressive Disorder Anxiety Disorder with some paranoid delusions thrown in for fun. Recovering Alcoholic and Addict Possibly on low end of bi polar spectrum...trying to decide. Male, 50 Fetzima 80mg Lamictal 100mg Remeron 30mg for sleep Klonopin .5mg twice a day, cutting this back |
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#3
Oct 04, 2014, 09:47 AM
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I'm no specialist but I would like to share my feelings with you. When I fall in love with someone I need their love in return. Receiving their love makes me feel whole, like my life is complete, like it has meaning. If I lost the emotions I had toward that person, I would still love them in a way. I would want them to be happy. But losing the emotions/feelings changes things. I would no longer want to be with (or live with) them.
Saying "I love you" can have so many different interpretations. It's interesting you compare it to saying "I love certain emotions I get from you". That's like saying "you make me feel good" (for the moment). A temporary exhilarating feeling. But true love for another human being is lasting imo. It is having that good feeling about yourself even when they are not around. I have it from knowing that the one special person I hold dear in my life loves me back. When the feelings are not returned it is a huge loss for me. I don't know if I've addressed what your driving at or have gone off on a tangent. I like to discuss the feelings though and am glad to have seen your posting. |
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#4
Oct 04, 2014, 03:04 PM
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This is a very complex topic. So I will let an expert on the subject talk about it:
His best summation of intimate love is within 52:55- 56:40!
__________________
~"There is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in."- Leonard Cohen Last edited by metamorphosis12; Oct 04, 2014 at 05:35 PM. |
 pegasus
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#5
Oct 04, 2014, 05:34 PM
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"Romantic love is a passionate- spiritual- emotional -sexual attachment between two people that reflects a high regard for the value of each person. Fascination, attraction, and passion may be born "at first sight." Love is not. Love requires knowledge, time and consciously, directed awareness. Contrary to the cliché that 'love is blind', love blossoms in an atmosphere of mutual respect and acceptance as well as through remaining actively visible (not blind) to each other."
__________________
~"There is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in."- Leonard Cohen |
| pegasus
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#6
Oct 07, 2014, 04:23 AM
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Can we really base our life (and relationships) on emotions?
Wouldn't that be stupid? |
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#7
Oct 07, 2014, 07:01 AM
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I like Nathaniel Branden. I also learned a lot from Helen Fisher...for me knowing about the "chemistry" of love, lust, attachment and so on does not take away any of the beauty but does make me more wise about the "reality" of it...
Dr Helen Fisher - Biological Anthropologist - Home Page
__________________
“A person is also mentally weak by the quantity of time he spends to sneak peek into others lives to devalue and degrade the quality of his own life.” Anuj Somany “Psychotherapy works by going deep into the brain and its neurons and changing their structure by turning on the right genes. The talking cure works by "talking to neurons," and that an effective psychotherapist or psychoanalyst is a "microsurgeon of the mind" who helps patients make needed alterations in neuronal networks.” Norman Doidge |
| pegasus
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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