[Hatshepsut]

He's schizophrenic, I know that, he knows it. I know that intimacy is a problem ... it didn't use to be - why is it now ? We live together (at the moment, until I decide or have the courage to leave). I told him I am looking for somewhere else. Should I be more understanding ?
[LIST=1]

• He never says he loves me, only when I ask him.
• Spends hours at his computer while I wait for some kind of connection.
• If I ask to hold his hand sometimes he shoos me away.
• Turns his back on me in bed.
• Says I should never ask him for any kind of help - I should "find my own way" - even if it is asking advice.
• Practical help such as car lifts (a very short distance) when I have a music gig, I have to pay for.
• Now I have discovered him visiting and participating in dating sites. Spends hours on Facebook and leaves me lonely. Says he arrived on the page accidentally but then admitted to chatting to single women much younger than me.
• Can only have quick sex and doesn't really want to "make love" like he used to. It used to be full of passion.
• I go away for 4 days to work and come back to 4 days of dirty dishes, yet I can't ask him for advice without being told I shouldn't bother him.

What's going on - can anyone tell me ?

I thought he was ill, now I'm not so sure it isn't illness / hate of women (or me) or both. Does anyone know why he does these things - can anyone relate.

It has become a toxic relationship for me.
I think I have to go - it will break my heart.

[pegasus]

Hello Hatshepsut, welcome to Psych Central.

I think you have answered your own question. It's not anything to do with having schizophrenia, the above behaviour does not indicate that at all. Yes, time to move on in my opinion, I am sorry.

[Hatshepsut]

Originally Posted by pegasus

Hello Hatshepsut, welcome to Psych Central.

I think you have answered your own question. It's not anything to do with having schizophrenia, the above behaviour does not indicate that at all. Yes, time to move on in my opinion, I am sorry.

Thank you Pegasus.
I have to be very brave and strong now.
But I thank you very much.

[Hatshepsut]

Originally Posted by Hatshepsut

Thank you Pegasus.
I have to be very brave and strong now.
But I thank you very much.

Many people (who know him) warned me.
I didn't believe them. Now I must.

[Hatshepsut]

Originally Posted by pegasus

Hello Hatshepsut, welcome to Psych Central.

I think you have answered your own question. It's not anything to do with having schizophrenia, the above behaviour does not indicate that at all. Yes, time to move on in my opinion, I am sorry.

Regarding your "genius" quote ... many people tell me I am a genius (I am a musician). My reply, after thanking them, is always "everyone's a genius in their own way".

[Hatshepsut]

Originally Posted by pegasus

Hello Hatshepsut, welcome to Psych Central.

I think you have answered your own question. It's not anything to do with having schizophrenia, the above behaviour does not indicate that at all. Yes, time to move on in my opinion, I am sorry.

By the way, please could you tell me what it does indicate exactly - I'd like to see it put into words. He wanted me to come and live with him, but he warned me that he is difficult to live with - he DID warn me beforehand and I said I could deal with it. He said he needed me ... and all that.

He is very affectionate when he can be, when he's not tired and stressed.

MIXED MESSAGES !

And he's not taking any meds for it.
He's agreed to get some treatment and has already made a start, thanks to my perseverance. that's why I don't really want to give up on him.

[pegasus]

Originally Posted by Hatshepsut

By the way, please could you tell me what it does indicate exactly - I'd like to see it put into words. He wanted me to come and live with him, but he warned me that he is difficult to live with - he DID warn me beforehand and I said I could deal with it. He said he needed me ... and all that.

He is very affectionate when he can be, when he's not tired and stressed.

MIXED MESSAGES !

And he's not taking any meds for it.
He's agreed to get some treatment and has already made a start, thanks to my perseverance. that's why I don't really want to give up on him.

Originally Posted by Hatshepsut

[list=1]

• He never says he loves me, only when I ask him.
• Spends hours at his computer while I wait for some kind of connection.
• If I ask to hold his hand sometimes he shoos me away.
• Turns his back on me in bed.
• Says I should never ask him for any kind of help - I should "find my own way" - even if it is asking advice.
• Practical help such as car lifts (a very short distance) when I have a music gig, I have to pay for.
• Now I have discovered him visiting and participating in dating sites. Spends hours on Facebook and leaves me lonely. Says he arrived on the page accidentally but then admitted to chatting to single women much younger than me.
• Can only have quick sex and doesn't really want to "make love" like he used to. It used to be full of passion.
• I go away for 4 days to work and come back to 4 days of dirty dishes, yet I can't ask him for advice without being told I shouldn't bother him.

What's going on - can anyone tell me ?

I thought he was ill, now I'm not so sure it isn't illness / hate of women (or me) or both. Does anyone know why he does these things - can anyone relate.

It has become a toxic relationship for me.
I think I have to go - it will break my heart.

Your first quote above is trying to make excuses for his behaviour. The second quote shows what is really happening. The only symptoms that might cause a lack of interest or apathy would be the depressive part of the schizophrenia.

But let me state clearly that schizophrenia does not make someone want to cheat on their partner, nor does it stop them letting you know that they love you in words or simple deeds such as a hug, not a shoo!

[Angelique67]

Originally Posted by Hatshepsut

By the way, please could you tell me what it does indicate exactly - I'd like to see it put into words. He wanted me to come and live with him, but he warned me that he is difficult to live with - he DID warn me beforehand and I said I could deal with it. He said he needed me ... and all that.

He is very affectionate when he can be, when he's not tired and stressed.

MIXED MESSAGES !

And he's not taking any meds for it.
He's agreed to get some treatment and has already made a start, thanks to my perseverance. that's why I don't really want to give up on him.

It doesn't have anything to do with schizophrenia. He's taking you for granted, he just doesn't care enough. I'm very sorry, but you'll have to decide how much of this you will or won't put up with. I know it is sad and painful.