I know depression and attention seeking behaviors are different, but sometimes it is hard to tell. Like I can usually tell if someone actually had depression but I know one person that I am not sure. They say they have it but the only reason I am not sure is because this person only gets depressed when she does not get her way. When she gets her way, she is perfectly happy and cheerful, but if there is one small set back, she acts like the world hates her and she gets pissed if she does not get her way. Can't tell if it is a very mild form of depression, bipolar disorder, or if she is just being a drama queen and seeking attention and just says she is depressed to use as a crotch for her behavior. This is really the only time I can't tell if someone had depression or not, usually I can tell and for those who are depressed, I am more willing to help them and can understand them. But I have no patience for drama queens. Just can't tell which of these she belongs in and how I should deal with her,

[pegasus]

Hello ryanLR2015, People with depression tend to shut down, shut the world out and not ask for help. I've always disliked the term attention seeking but if we are going to use that term, I would say to always give a person the benefit of the doubt. So even if they were seeking attention, then you've given them what they need and the behaviour settles down.

Possible trigger:

I've met many people who threatened to take their own life and didn't. Some would say it was attention seeking behaviour, but even if it was, that person was in need of something. In giving them that attention, they started to feel better.

Maybe you could have a gentle conversation with the person (don't use the term attention seeking) ask them what they need in order to feel less insecure? In giving her the benefit of the doubt, you are putting it on her to reflect on her own behaviour. Obviously if it turns out that she is just playing with your feelings or there is malicious intent, then that wouldn't be a good friendship to continue anyway.

[AngstyLady]

I feel like I've seen this post before, maybe someone else- but either way, I think your friend is very self absorbed and has a 'the world revolves around me' sort of attitude. It's not healthy. A side affect of being a spoiled brat that grows up (or does'nt, I should say)

[Idler]

I personally lean more towards pegasus' view on this. Whether it's depression or attention-seeking behavior, it seems to me that either indicates a source of unhappiness or anxiety.

That said, the way you phrase it suggests an element of manipulation, because she's only "depressed when she does not get her way." That must be really frustrating, but maybe she's acting this way due to insecurity - it may be that she doubts people would respond to her if she were to simply state her feelings/preferences.

Regardless of what's going on, I think pegasus is right that the best course is usually to give people the benefit of the doubt. Having been on the other side, I can attest how much it hurts when I open myself up to others and feel like I'm not believed.

[tradika]

I agree with Pegasus, but having been on the other side of the fence as a teenager, I can definitely say that the worse thing you can do is to allow yourself to get run over. You have to take care of yourself. That does not mean don't be supportive of a depressed person because even rapid mood swings that are caused by environmental factors are real to the person. It can point to several real psychological conditions. The ultimate goal though is for this person to decide to take the reins and get treatment.

If I'm depressed, I'm sure not seeking attention, matter of fact, LEAVE ME ALONE AND GO AWAY!

[ElCambio]

You probably should give more information. What exactly what does she do when she is depressed?

Originally Posted by ElCambio

You probably should give more information. What exactly what does she do when she is depressed?

She will say she never gets what she wants, other people are more of a priority, she is lonely, and that she will always be alone. But that is only when she does not get her way. When she does and she is happy, she is perfectly fine and does not think or say those things.

[ElCambio]

Originally Posted by ryanLRC2015

She will say she never gets what she wants, other people are more of a priority, she is lonely, and that she will always be alone. But that is only when she does not get her way. When she does and she is happy, she is perfectly fine and does not think or say those things.

It doesn't sound like depression, but it doesn't sound like attention-seeking behavior to me. She is most likely just a little dramatic and insecure. Is she like this often? I would try to have her talk to someone.

Originally Posted by ElCambio

It doesn't sound like depression, but it doesn't sound like attention-seeking behavior to me. She is most likely just a little dramatic and insecure. Is she like this often? I would try to have her talk to someone.

Yes she is like this a lot. I know she does talk to someone but I don't think it helps. And trying to talk to her when she is like that is no good since it only pisses her off even more. I just keep quiet for the most part now. She will also just randomly start complaining about the past as well and admits she likes wallowing in self-pity. I agree, I think she is just dramatic and insecure, not exactly depressed.

[ElCambio]

Originally Posted by ryanLRC2015

Yes she is like this a lot. I know she does talk to someone but I don't think it helps. And trying to talk to her when she is like that is no good since it only pisses her off even more. I just keep quiet for the most part now. She will also just randomly start complaining about the past as well and admits she likes wallowing in self-pity. I agree, I think she is just dramatic and insecure, not exactly depressed.

If she's talking to someone and it isn't helping, that sounds more serious. You may just need to back off though.

[Restin]

I am very sure that anyone who is attention- seeking, has a psychological problem that deserves as much respect and treatment as any other kind of problem. Sometimes it means, "please help me with my pain, I don't know who to turn to, or how to make this stop, but I can't just sit still and take it."