[iamanders]

Hello!
Dear experts, I have a friend who has diagnoses of aspergers, adhd and ocd. He seems to have a difficult life. We seldom meet eachother (we mostly use internet to talk with eachother). When I met him some weeks ago he said that he really liked meeting me and I like it to. He said that he actually wanted to meet me again.
I contacted him some days later but he only said that if he could meet me again he would call instead of giving me a certain day (I guess he is more of an impulsive guy due to adhd). I did contact him another time but he never answedred me. I guess this is something that has to do with him having these three diagnoses.
If anyone has experience in this area please give me some wisdom!

[kaliope]

i have several diagnoses myself and have a real problem commiting to plans with people. if i make plans ahead of time, i am anxious about it for days or hours before the time comes. just today i cancelled going with someone for their birthday which has been planned since friday. i felt so bad letting him down and i do so enjoy spending time with him. i wish i had never accepted so that i hadnt diasppointed him. i was filled with such dread i couldnt do it. i usually automatically say no to all invites. it isnt about the person. it is about me. so dont take it personally.

[iamanders]

Originally Posted by kaliope

i have several diagnoses myself and have a real problem commiting to plans with people. if i make plans ahead of time, i am anxious about it for days or hours before the time comes. just today i cancelled going with someone for their birthday which has been planned since friday. i felt so bad letting him down and i do so enjoy spending time with him. i wish i had never accepted so that i hadnt diasppointed him. i was filled with such dread i couldnt do it. i usually automatically say no to all invites. it isnt about the person. it is about me. so dont take it personally.

How the can one have a relationship with such a person? Will it even be a good idea to try having a relationship with such a person? It sounds kinda difficult?
I myself is an aspie so I am not an expert at dealing with relationships (even if I read much about how they work).

[pegasus]

I would say that friendships are about having a connection with someone else as a person. So try not to look at the diagnosis and ask yourself how strong the connection is between you. It may be that he is likes to do things on impulse but if this does not suit you and leaves you anxious then you need to communicate that to him. Good relationships are built on good communication.