I have come to the conclusion that it is time to pull away from a friend, who I believe really doesn't respect me as a friend. She will contradict herself and make me feel bad. For example, it is okay for her to get pissed if someone postpones or cancel plans with her and she assumes they just don't want to be with her, yet if I do the same, she gets pissed at me and say I am being possessive or paranoid. Then she went through someone else to tell me to stop assuming she is trying to ditch me or ignore me instead of telling me herself on her own. The reason I feel that way is because when she is with other friends, she will bail out on plans or be very late without letting me know and the times I didn't remind her, she bailed completely. So recently I started politely reminding her and asking if we were still hanging out and she gets very annoyed with that. Also when she is with me, she will constantly text and have full conversations with others, but when she is with others, she will ignore my texts. If she is putting her phone away so she is not being rude, then that is fine, that is actually a good thing, but that means I want the same level of respect. Not sure if she is just ignoring only my texts or if she is respecting others way more than she respects me. Something tells me that when I graduate, she will completely cut off the friendship. She says she really likes me as a friend but something tells me she really doesn't, or she does but not as much as she likes her other friends. Do you take this as a sign of her being disrespectful and trying to pull away? If she is then I respect that, just tired of her contradicting herself. And she gets pissed if I call her out on it, yet it is okay for her to call me out on things. I think it is also an insecurity thing. Just curious at what is going on. It may be best to completely let her go. Yes I will be upset about it, but it has happened so many times in my life that I'm practically used to people coming in and out of my life. And if I get accepted into grad school, maybe I'll make new friends since I found out that it is possible to make friends in grad school after all, since before I thought it was impossible. Do you think I'm overreacting or do you think she is actually being disrespectful? Just curious.

[pegasus]

Hello ryanLR15,

We can't tell you who to be friends with here. Friendships are about good communication and trust and there does need to be a mutual respect and regard for each other. It would be good for you to have a calm conversation together, let her tell you what she feels and then you tell her what you feel without accusations, use 'I feel...' statements rather than saying 'You don't so this or that...' It may be that the friendship sizzles out when you go to grad school and yes you will make lots of new friends, the good ones will stick by you...

[RisuNeko]

How long until grad school? Do you have other friends you can turn to instead of her? It sounds like she is pushing you away and maybe you are right to pull away from her in response. Either that or her personality just doesn't mesh with yours. At least that's what it sounds like from what you are saying. Friendships need mutual respect.

Originally Posted by RisuNeko

How long until grad school? Do you have other friends you can turn to instead of her? It sounds like she is pushing you away and maybe you are right to pull away from her in response. Either that or her personality just doesn't mesh with yours. At least that's what it sounds like from what you are saying. Friendships need mutual respect.

No I don't have any other friends and I have not been accepted to grad school yet but I hope I am and if I do then it will start in August. And I agree, I think she is trying to push me away. And yes, if she is then I will do the same. And I totally agree, friendships need mutual respect and she has the tendency to be dramatic and create problems out of nothing as well. I hope I can make new friends if I do get accepted into grad school since I'm bad at it.

[Thunder Bow]

You just have anxiety about going to grad school. You will do well, and make new friends while there.