[annoyedgrunt84]

Where's the line between being kind to yourself and not putting up BS from yourself? I'm really struggling with when to tell myself that's OK and when to push myself harder.

Does it help when you push yourself harder?

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by annoyedgrunt84

Where's the line between being kind to yourself and not putting up BS from yourself? I'm really struggling with when to tell myself that's OK and when to push myself harder.

for me pushing myself is being kind to myself...

respecting myself (not name calling, not putting myself down)
respecting my body (good hygiene, staying physically fit, take my meds, follow regular check ups, follow treatment plans...)
do nice things for myself (take myself out to dinner/movies/ attend broadway shows that I know I will enjoy, bubble baths, a new outfit...things in general that make me feel good)
challenging\pushing myself to take risks (do things not because of my limitations but rather lets see if I can do this, try new things, live up to what I know I am capable of being\doing)

[Perna]

I would err on the kind side, sounds like you have an over-active BS enforcer? It all boils down to, "What do you want?" If you want to get a degree or a job or a raise in pay/promotion or meet more people, etc. you have to do stuff, there is no "kindness" involved. But if you make a mistake and call yourself names, etc. instead of just getting to the business of fixing the mistake, that doesn't do anything for anyone.

As far as sleeping in versus looking for a job though or going to class, etc., the asking yourself what you want helps me. But if I do choose to sleep in, I remind myself that it is always my choice and I accept responsibility for that. I'm not "bad" for sleeping in, I chose it and it's my life so what I do or do not do is always my choice and responsibility and all parts of me should accept that. Any part that is disappointed in my choice has the choice to "fix" it at any time they'd like So having one part beat up another part for BS just doesn't make sense since it isn't constructive. (However, if you like beating yourself up, that too is your choice :-)

[annoyedgrunt84]

I think I'm something of a perfectionist, but in a way that leads me to not do anything. I tell myself anything I do will suck then later I get the added bonus of getting to berate myself for not doing anything.

[Thunder Bow]

Looks like to me, you are on the right path, when it comes to taking care of yourself.