[iwonderaboutstuff]

Hi,
First time poster and not sure how much background to give... Basically, I have this online relationship - a virtual BF, but someone I actually know - that's been going on for a while. It's weird, and wonderful, and completely outside any prior experience. Sometimes he'll refer to me in the 3rd person. Not typically, but often enough that it's got me wondering if there's something to it. For example, instead of saying "I love you" he'll say "I love (my name)" or instead or "thinking of you" he'll say "thinking of my (name)"

Thoughts?

[annoyedgrunt84]

I think my advice would be if it makes you feel uneasy trust your instincts.

[iwonderaboutstuff]

I wouldn't necessarily say it makes me uneasy. More like I wonder if it's indicative of something... like objectifying or some kind of distancing.

And for the sake of context, this is a "side" relationship for both of us. It's strictly online, but also real. Real, meaning part of each other's lives and while the nature of it changes, it'll continue. I recognize the escapism aspect of it. There is a sexual component to it; hence "virtual bf"

[phaset]

In real life I say "I love <wife's name>" to her often, she replies the same. It seems more special to me to say it that way, but I am a weirdo.

[Perna]

I agree with phaset; "you" is not very specific, especially if you are not there in person? Saying your name disguishes you from the others it could be. It makes you a distinct person that one can describe, characterize, etc. and not confuse with anyone else. One-of-a-kind.

[Thunder Bow]

Saying your name sounds good to me.