[crosstobear]

Thoughts? Is venting or talking about your problems/frustrations to people healthy or is it counterproductive? Some would say venting is necessary as it helps validate one's own feelings as well as release pressure through support and helps process emotions. Some would say venting leads to dependency on venting, an erosion of independent problem solving skills, and burdens others who have their own problems to worry about. I lean toward the latter and see venting as something that with time should be lessened, the goal being reaching a point where you can validate your own feelings and process them by sublimating your frustrations into something constructive.

Society also has a negative view of venting, especially for males. It's seen as a womanly thing to do.

Thoughts?

I vent both verbally and via music and it helps me a lot. Some might argue against this, but when you have a limited amount of friends and a fragile support system, everything counts.

If it wasn't for me venting sometimes, I would have done things that I would regret.

[lizardlady]

I believe venting, like any tool, can be helpful, but become harmful if overused.
For myself, when I've had a rotten day, it helps me to be able to unload to a friend about it. Where venting becomes a problem, IMO, is when people gripe and complain all the time without trying to seek a solution. We probably all have met at least one Negative Nelly who only carps and complains about life. They are not pleasant to be around.

[Protectiva]

^ I agree. Venting can be great--it releases pressure exactly like the word implies. Letting out a little steam is very healthy. It can stop an explosion!

If you feel like you are venting too much to others and you don't want to drive them away, just vent in another way, like through writing out your thoughts, using poetry, artwork, music, prayer, a punching bag, something that lets you get the negative feelings out but that doesn't necessarily involve talking to another person (because most of us have probably been guilty of complaining too much and then another person got tired of it and then they didn't react so well).

[JadeAmethyst]

Yes, a tool, just remember to 'think' before you choose who you vent to....it can become a boomerang...

For me it can make me feel better and bad at the same time. Better because it allows me to release the pressure inside me, and bad for appearing weak in front of and increasing the burden on others, even close ones. I think other ways are more convenient, like going for a walk, crying, playing sport or music, ... etc.

[avlady]

i think a moderate amount of venting is useful, but then again, venting is hard to be a moderate thing until it all comes out and it seems like it will never end. i myself find it as a compliment that people feel they can vent with me, i don't judge or retaliate and keep things private. i get angry with my mother because she doesn't like me being on this site because she thinks it is a bad thing to dwell on other peoples problems, but i consider it a gift i have to be here and know a little about how to listen. the main thing is to really LISTEN.

[sabby]

Sometimes I vent just because I'm p.o'ed about something. I find that venting verbally to my roommate is better than me holding it in until I burst and then I throw things. Not good.

Sometimes, I find I need to vent out a situation and just hearing myself talk about it helps me to come to a quicker solution to the issue. Getting feedback when I ask for it can be very helpful as well.

Most times though, I have to admit, I keep most of my stuff to myself and work through it on my own. Sometimes my roommate gets upset with me for doing that. It's not that I don't want to share with her, it's more about the fact that I'm an independent thinker and have always had to depend on myself to fix myself and my issues.

I can see the pluses and minuses of venting.

[bbTofu]

Exceeded venting may become an unhealthy pattern, originating in one's deep inner-problems.

The unconscious craves connection, any connection, but one does not feel capable of communicating normally, and has learnt that 'venting' is also a way of communication, and, in a sense, a fullfilment for the unconscious need.
Why unconscious ? Well, I would feel a bit guilty if I were consciously seeking attention with venting.
This is unhealthy because I'd automatically start venting all the time, creating content for venting because this is the way I communicate or something ...

This is just a perspective guys
I'd sometimes check if I start developing this habit, usually happens when I'm cycling down hard.. but then, the only place I vent is my therapist and online, as I don't have energies to actually meet/see people.