[TheGagagirl1234]

I don't know what's wrong with me. I can't concentrate on anything and I don't want to do my usual hobbies. I once loved reading, writing stories and watching Youtubers. I could write pretty long stories. They were over 100 pages long. But when I try it doesn't give me the same pleasure anymore and I lose my concentration very quickly. I've noticed that I'm much more sad than usual. Before I was only crying when I went home to my parents, but now I also cry in my room at college. I'm tired everyday and I don't want to go to college on monday. Nobody wants to be with me anyway. I don't understand what's happening. It only seems to get worse. I also have nightmares almost every night. I think it might be because of my autism but I'm not sure. I'm going to a doctor soon to find out what's wrong, but I need some advice to know what it might be. Please help, I'm going insane!

[gayleggg]

I'm a professional and can't really diagnose you but it sounds like you are suffering from depression. I'm glad you are going in to get it checked out.

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[Skeezyks]

Hello TheGagagirl1234: Yes, this certainly does sound like depression. Perhaps it is a reaction to being at college away from home, particularly if you have yet to make friends at school. There could, however, also be some physical things going on, such as less-than-optimal nutrition, or some type of hormonal imbalance, or something else entirely. Getting checked out by a physician is a good first step toward figuring out what's going on with you. The fact that you realize something is different, & you're taking steps to ameliorate it, is a positive sign. My best wishes to you...

TheGagaGirl - just an idea here; I'm wondering about the nature of your writing. Would you say it was uplifting? Or is it perhaps something less so. I write because it is so cathartic. But I tend to write about my feelings. When I'm Depressed I write depressive stuff and it tends to bring me down after a period of time. I really enjoy writing under such circumstances but I realise I get stuck and begin to ruminate. Then I can't write at all. I have a new tool. It gives me ideas to write about that make me step out of the negativity and encourages me to jot down ideas for prose and stories.

I use the 'plot generator' app.

[TheGagagirl1234]

Thanks for the replies! I feel a bit better now, but yesterday I was angry and sad for no reason.

rcat: I write fantasy stories. I can't write other genres. I've tried to write a diary but I lost interest in it quickly. I still have nightmares, and I don't understand where they come from. I agreed with my mother and doctor to stop taking my medicine for a week to see if my nightmares are a side affect. But no, they seem to get worse and more scary and vivid now.

TheGagagirl - it sounds to me like your mind is racing. I'm guessing you have some significant stress in your life - particularly stress from having high expectations placed on you. Does this sound like it might be familar?

Regardless, you may need to alter your evening rountine. I would stay away from tv, gaming, and electronics before bedtime. Leave your phone in a different room so you won't feel obligated to answer and reply to notifications. Do not do anything invigorating like a walk before you go to bed. And then a warm drink of some sort can be very helpful too.

[TheGagagirl1234]

Originally Posted by rcat

TheGagagirl - it sounds to me like your mind is racing. I'm guessing you have some significant stress in your life - particularly stress from having high expectations placed on you. Does this sound like it might be familar?

Regardless, you may need to alter your evening rountine. I would stay away from tv, gaming, and electronics before bedtime. Leave your phone in a different room so you won't feel obligated to answer and reply to notifications. Do not do anything invigorating like a walk before you go to bed. And then a warm drink of some sort can be very helpful too.

I don't think that is case because I've been living in college for 2 years now. I'm still trying to figure out what triggers my nightmares. I had another terrifying nightmare this night, and I didn't dare to sleep again.

[Khione]

It does sound like depression and it's good you're going to speak to a doctor. I have a similar story - used to be able to write stories and I was creative etc. But you should definitely see a doctor, I was put on medication and it helped a lot.

As for the sleep, do what rcat suggested, alter your evening routine. Sometimes it's what you do before you sleep that can trigger a bad night - not necessarily but it's a possibility. Try some light reading or something that doesn't work your brain to hard. Again, it's something to bring up to the doctor and they should have something to help. I was prescribed an antidepressant that I take on a night that makes me drowsy and helps me sleep, so definitely mention the sleep issues to the doctor.

[Cat_Lover_58]

I'm a writer and agree with the posts about uplifting writing vs not so uplifting. I went though the sadness & crying...I was diagnosed with depression. Sending hugs...Cat

[TheGagagirl1234]

Originally Posted by Khione

As for the sleep, do what rcat suggested, alter your evening routine. Sometimes it's what you do before you sleep that can trigger a bad night - not necessarily but it's a possibility. Try some light reading or something that doesn't work your brain to hard. Again, it's something to bring up to the doctor and they should have something to help. I was prescribed an antidepressant that I take on a night that makes me drowsy and helps me sleep, so definitely mention the sleep issues to the doctor.

The only problem is that I can't concentrate on reading books anymore
I haven't read a single book since last year when I literally was a bookworm.