[sinking]

i find it kind of soothing but not enough. sometimes it plainly makes me go crazy. but my mind refuses to do any other activity that would calm the mind as reading or watching tv. i keep walking back and forth to try to calm down but it usually helps too little and instead brings more agitation because i cant solve the problems i have or calm down the thoughts or the negative feelings.

what do i do? i dont want to keep walking back and forth in my room and feel like going insane but it seems its the only thing my mind and body are willing to allow me doing. i'd rather cry, scream, go for a walk but the only thought of doing something else repulses me.

any idea? on why it is this way and on what to do?

[avlady]

i used to pace the floors when i was ill mentally.then i was put on some meds that helped me stop.

[sinking]

Thanks. what kind of meds?
i was diagnosed with BPD (agree) and schizoaffective (disagree) and im only taking sleeping pills but i am reconsidering going back to anti psychotic meds (clozapine). could it help?

[avlady]

i am on several meds including clozapine, am schitzoaffective. also on risperdal, depacote, diazapam, levothyroxine for hypothyrodism too.

I think walking back and forth is a manifestation of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD).

I feel the most effective treatment would be a combination of cognitive-behavioral therapy and an SSRI such as Zoloft (sertraline).

I hope you feel better soon.

I would suggest to challenge your repulsion to do anything else. Do it in spite of hating it, at first.

[sinking]

Yes, i was diagnosed with OCD in comorbidity with BPD too, so it could be.

im going to talk about meds soon one of these days.

meanwhile i'll try to push myself to try do other stuff too.

thank you for the support, sometimes i feel just plain crazy.

[Skeezyks]

I do walking meditation. I walk slowly around-&-around our townhome, keeping light attention on my feet. Thoughts come-&-go. When I notice I'm thinking about something I just gently say to myself: "thinking". Sometimes I'll do this for as much as two hours at a time... until my legs & hips ache. I suppose one could say that there is a bit of an OCD element to it. But I like it...

[sinking]

Skeezyks, at least you like it, i dont. i do it in hope it calms down my mind but it doesnt, i feel like im going crazy.
i've gotten my anti psychotic meds today. i'll take them tonight, i hope they'll work again as they used to.
meanwhile i keep walking back and forth....

[Cornelya]

when I am thinking, or panicing, or both (with or without talking/ knife flipping) I tend to walk in circles or figure eights

[bathroomscrubber]

Originally Posted by sinking

Skeezyks, at least you like it, i dont. i do it in hope it calms down my mind but it doesnt, i feel like im going crazy.
i've gotten my anti psychotic meds today. i'll take them tonight, i hope they'll work again as they used to.
meanwhile i keep walking back and forth....

I was doing that also. But one day I broke the cycle and forced myself to go for a walk. One with NO destination in mind. I was surprised with the outcome. Maybe you should try it. I walked for three hours when I realized I was ok now. I would have done it again today but it's too windy

Originally Posted by sinking

Thanks. what kind of meds?

I take Citalopram which has really cut back on my obsessive thinking.

[sinking]

Thankfully now i've been able to re-enjoy staying in bed crying rather than walking back and forth in my small bedroom. I prefer crying than feeling like i'm going crazy... I cant enjoy walking itself, it was more a way to calm myself down, which didnt work that well anyway...

[ScientiaOmnisEst]

So, pacing? I do it all the time. Nothing stimulates my thinking like movement - sometimes I find that when my mind starts racing I get restless and need to walk or pace just to let the thoughts run out more clearly.

I do this anywhere from 15 minutes to a couple of hours a day, total, and have since childhood. It's basically a necessity in any room I live in for me to have a space to walk.

So...it's not that crazy? Your main problem seems to be that you don't like or want it, and want to do other things.

[sinking]

Yes, i didnt like it because it made me feel like i was going crazy. As if i was physically in a cage exactly like my mind was trapped in an internal loop.