[TryingToMoveForward]

I am struggling with some serious memory issues and I'm trying to figure out an explanation. Here are my theories:

1. Is due to being Bipolar
2. Due to medication
3. Anterograde Amnesia

I have mild cognitive impairments. Probably accounted by my mental illnesses and medication. But I don't think it covers as a full explanation for my memory issues.

I can't remember faces. As a sales associate, this happens all the time at work. I'll get to fetch a box of shoes, come out, and can't recognize the customer I spoke to a moment ago. Or repeat customers return and talk to me like they know me and I have no idea who they are. Or strangers coming up and talking like they know me. Or me going up to strangers thinking I know them when I don't. They just look like someone I use to know. When I first started I couldn't recognize coworkers and spoke to a few of them as if I never met them before...despite talking to them the previous day.

I struggle with remembering names. Learning new information. Recalling information I learned in college. I have this degree and I know next to nothing about it. I have no idea how to use it or what kind of job its good for. Considering I got mostly 4.0s in my studies, this is a little...disconcerting. I can't remember the theories my professor so pointedly said I was a master of. Remembering appointments, when I work, is a challenge. I can barely keep track of what day or month it is, despite having a calendar and using it. The last 6 years is mostly a blank. I'm missing memories from chunks of my life, but can recall pretty well 2010 and my life prior to that year. The end of 2010 was when I went on psychiatric drugs.

So are all those memory problems common with people who are bipolar? Can they be accounted for by mild cognitive impairments? Or medication? Both?

I'm pretty much very, very frustrated because not remembering things makes it difficult to know who I am and think of the future. I can't see a future because I have trouble seeing the past. Its like I don't have an identity, and I'm just really lost in this fast moving world that I can't keep up with. I struggle getting through a single day.

[Trippin2.0]

I generally struggle with remembering faces, (although names I remember forever) and yes, I know exactly what a right b!tch that is when you work with clients!


As for general memory impairment, idk hey, some say its part BP, part meds, but I only had memory loss and cognitive impairment directly due to meds.


On different meds, or without meds, I suffered exactly zero bouts of stupidity.


But like I said, the jury is still out, as many people tend to believe BP itself impairs us cognitively.

[Happysadsanemad]

In my experience medications can have an detrimental effect on memory and retaining new information. I changed to a new drug Ziprasidone around 2 months ago and have seen a big improvement in these areas. Have you spoken to your doctor about your concerns?

[TryingToMoveForward]

I see him on Feb 2. I'm going to bring this up to him, though I mentioned memory issues in the past. He laughed and said I was too young to have memory issues. After getting a psychological and neural evaluation, I learned I'm mildly cognitively impaired, and I wasn't that way before going on all these meds. It would be nice to go back to grad school, but how am I supposed to do it with a memory and impairments like I have? At one time I was very ambitious, now I just live to get to see tomorrow, and there's no real image of a future in mind. If I'm not going to excel in grad school, I'm not going to waste time and money on it. Its sad because I use to have career dreams.

Its embarrassing at work. When something so simple a first grader could figure it out and I'm there, struggling, not comprehending. And I get laughed at. Called a goofball. And I feel like saying, "Hey guys. I'm mildly impaired. It's not my fault." My coworker last night actually laughed and said, "You're making it so much harder then it is. You should really try THINKING."

They have no idea what I've lost. And the awareness of what I've lost just crushes me inside. I know this is a little off topic, but the impairments include my memory. I doubt there is really anything my psychiatrist can do about it. Because I have to be on medication. There are no meds without side effects. But maybe...maybe he'll have some useful opinions and theories.

[YMIHere]

Hi TTMF,

I feel your pain. More than you know.

I'm about to turn 45. My problems started sometime between 2003 and 2006 - before I left NY.

Back then I was on Ambien which we all know now causes serious issues while you take it, but I was having issues when I was awake. The thing that scared me was when I went to call my voicemail. Back then I had a certain number to pick up my messages. I called it on a daily basis and then one day couldn't remember it. For HOURS I struggled to remember and I had to go digging for the paperwork to find the number I had to dial.

Because I'm so forgetful I joke at work telling coworkers, "Just call me Dory." From Finding Nemo? I'm a MESS. If I look up a phone number, I can't remember the whole number without looking. I'll remember the area code and first 3 numbers but not the number in it's entirety.

I talk to a lot of people and I can't ever remember who I told what to. I've seen two neurologists - one maybe 10 yrs ago and one almost a year ago. They test me by asking these easy questions - what year is it? Say the alphabet backwards. They tell you to remember an animal color and country then they yak at you and then see if you can recall the things they told you to remember. I'm GUESSING when I do that. It's like it's in there somewhere, in a fog and when prompted I can find it but....

The other day my boss called me in the morning to tell me that she wasn't going to the training she was supposed to be going to. Later that day, her bosses were looking for her. They asked me if I'd heard from her and I said no. I checked my phone for a voicemail and nothing. I went to make a call and saw a call in my call history for that morning. I thought I must have missed it but then I noticed it was three and a half minutes long and I had ZERO recollection. I told them I hadn't heard from her. Even looking at my phone seeing 3 minutes I was wondering what happened that she must have been talking to dead air. Only when I spoke to her and she started reiterating what she told me did it start coming back to me.

I'm in school right now. My English teacher gives open book tests and my history teacher gives you a list of terms to know. I try to study them and then I focus on the ones that I CAN remember in the hopes that if I can remember enough of them I'll do OK. No way I can memorize all.

I was on Zoloft but I'm off now. Still take Trazodone, Lamictal and Adderall. What of those is crippling my short memory I don't know, but if I thought I could pass the bar, I'd love to go to law school when I'm finished with my degree. I really want to do something about this and called my insurance so I can follow up with a couple of places for testing.

It is FRIGHTENING. If you get a decent answer, hit me up. I'm seriously hoping to not have to wait forever for an appointment.

I think it is the medication that causes my brain fog. Why, I certainly didn't experience it until after my diagnosis and subsequent prescriptions.

It can be embarassing at times - especially when I lose words in the middle of conversation or have poor recollection.

I have been working hard at trying to stay sharp by doing a lot of puzzles and brin games

[kaiouti]

I think it's called face blindness or something, Its a disorder, for me I was in a bit of a bad way, it went away though..also at another point I had this other temporary disorder growing up where I hated and couldn't stand the sound of normal things since my sense were heightened, like the breathing, chewing, whimpers or sighs of someone etc;