Middle School Girls Sleepover---Disaster?

My middle school aged daughter wants to have 8 friends come over and spend the night. Sort of an end of the school year celebration type thing. Would it be a bad idea to let her invite 8 girls over to spend the night? Would it be a disaster waiting to happen? Should she only invite a couple people over?

I would think a smaller party would be tough on the uninvited girls, and your daughter. The ones not invited would be angry, maybe making high school a rough road for your daughter. (Yep, girls remember these things).

If she asked for 8, she already has their names picked out, and 99% chance she's already discussed it with them.


She'll have some explaining to do if you make her downsize.


What on earth makes you think its a disaster waiting to happen tho?

Just thinking that many girls sleeping over will lead to drama and squabbles during the sleep over. Perhaps I should do a day party where I take them to a pool and then they all go home afterwards?

I think a sleepover sounds terrific!

Middle school girl drama. Yuck. Over-nighters tend to turn into nightmares for at least one or two of the girls involved; just too much drama. Thank God I had boys! How about taking them out to a movie or dinner or bowling or something and sending them home afterwards? If you do let it happen, stay awake all night with them (at least in earshot) and supervise; they WILL get into mischief and/or squabbles; it's rather inevitable with that age.

I went to plenty of sleepovers when I was middle school aged and there were no problems between my friends and I, nor did we get into any "trouble". I would rather my kids' friends be comfortable in my home than not.

I don't get it. What disaster would happen? I think it's all in your head. Just tell them you want the house to be spotless when they leave.

Just make sure you have the names and phone numbers for the parents of the girls and clear the sleep over with them first. Tell the girls if there a problem parents will be called. Then expect the best from them...i.e. Don't go borrowing trouble by expecting the worse.

i loved sleep overs and they were fun and clean fun

Please just make sure the best that you can that the girls invited are liked among each other. I had a birthday party sleep-over in 6th grade and one girl I invited turned out to be unpopular with a handful of the other girls. She was treated very badly all night. My mother has a nervous, avoidant type of personality so we were not monitored at all, so that extra freedom really exacerbated the whole thing. I was so ashamed because I fell into peer pressure and played along a little even though she was my friend. Afterward the other girls told me I could not be friends with that girl anymore or they would not be friends with me. :|

It could be a really fun experience for her if it is kept structured, friendly, and safe for all girls.

I would encourage the day swim party myself--but then, I'm a Mom and grandmother now, and I've already got my battle scars from raising teens and aspiring teens. When I had kids at home myself, it surprised me to learn 'how bold and frankly, stupid ' kids this age can be at trying new things or daring each other to do things like get into the liquor cabinet or sneak out at night etc.

Problem is, things are a lot more sophisticated today and theres a lot more drugs and, of course, the internet. (The worst we ever did when I was a kid was randomly call someone on the telephone, say something really stupid, and hang up, laughing at how brave we thought we were! )

So. Eight girls, huh? I'd rather have someone poke me in the eye with a stick, but that's me.

Well, I guess I dont have to tell you that keeping it all under control is really is a lot of responsibility for the host parents-- maybe you already know this and are prepared?

If you know these girls and their families and trust there will be a limited amount of monkey business you might feel better than I would about going through with this.

The girls will likely stay up all night (the whole point of a sleepover is not to sleep) and I would guess you have already anticipated and arranged for any inconvenience to anyone else in the family. and hopefully no one has to get up and go to work the next day.

Have I asked how many bathrooms you have?
Just kidding.

Well, thats all I can think of right now.
Whatever you choose to do , I hope it goes well for all concerned.

Take care, brave lady.

Let her have all her guests!

So what did you decide?

I think that eight guests is a lot.

I would not accept the claim that since she has already told eight girls, you have to invite eight or feelings will be hurt.

She should not have told anyone, much less eight girls, before consulting with you. This is an important lesson for her. You are quite unwise to allow her to force you to do something you don't want to do on the theory that otherwise feelings will be hurt.

What if you have two sleepovers, 4 guests at each?