[Aposiopesis]

Hey all,

I've been seeing a psychologist since the start of this year. The first few sessions went ok. But the problem is, once we got past the whole "talking about your past" stage, it's gone all...off. It's not that she's bad - although, if she was, I wouldn't know because she's the first I've ever seen - but it feels like she doesn't listen to me, not really.

It's almost as if she's focusing on the wrong things, but then I wonder...do I even have the right to question it? I mean, she is the professional, right? My major issue right now is self confidence and fear over the most insane things. Like, say, I have a fear of using frying pans in case I burn the house down. Stuff like that will affect my life more than the fact that I have a "unhealthy respect for the law"...wouldn't it? Is that even possible? Having an unhealthy respect for the law, I mean.

And then there's CBT. I know the theories behind it and I know how to practice it. But it just doesn't work for me. Why, I have absolutely no idea, but it just doesn't. But she doesn't seem to understand that and every time I go, it's the same thing over and over and over again.

I'm not really entirely sure what to do. Do I try and find a new one that would be better suited to me? Or do I put up with it because she's the professional and I'm not?

[IceCreamKid]

Originally Posted by Lis-Ace

Hey all,

I've been seeing a psychologist since the start of this year. The first few sessions went ok. But the problem is, once we got past the whole "talking about your past" stage, it's gone all...off. It's not that she's bad - although, if she was, I wouldn't know because she's the first I've ever seen - but it feels like she doesn't listen to me, not really.

It's almost as if she's focusing on the wrong things, but then I wonder...do I even have the right to question it? I mean, she is the professional, right? My major issue right now is self confidence and fear over the most insane things. Like, say, I have a fear of using frying pans in case I burn the house down. Stuff like that will affect my life more than the fact that I have a "unhealthy respect for the law"...wouldn't it? Is that even possible? Having an unhealthy respect for the law, I mean.

And then there's CBT. I know the theories behind it and I know how to practice it. But it just doesn't work for me. Why, I have absolutely no idea, but it just doesn't. But she doesn't seem to understand that and every time I go, it's the same thing over and over and over again.

I'm not really entirely sure what to do. Do I try and find a new one that would be better suited to me? Or do I put up with it because she's the professional and I'm not?

I think what you can try first is to tell the psychologist what you have told us here. This will surely spark some conversation that might be more useful to you. I feel what you've written here. I wish you the best.

Hey, maybe you can ask people in the Psychotherapy forum too?

[Bi-PolarII2U]

HI Lis-Ace

First, let me say I am not a professional health care person. I am a "Been there, done that, have the t-shirt, still learning person."
Questioning your psychologist's approach to your sessions is a good place to start to build your confidence. There are few things about your perspective that a little shifting: "When you change the way your look at things, the things you look at begin to change."
To get a better understanding of the things I'm referring to, consider the following.
1. The time spent in your first sessions is a way for psychologist/psychiatrists to get an idea of how you got to where you are today. This is much needed in understanding your needs in therapy and how to approach the process.
2. Ask yourself this question "Am I upset with her, the therapist, because I feel she isn't listening to me....OR....Am I upset because she is not reacting the way I think she should when I tell her something I think is important.
3. Even though psychologist/psychiatrists are 'professionals' they are only human. You have every right to question your treatment, and everyone should ask themselves "Is this 'professional' acting in MY BEST INTEREST or are they just going through the motions of looking efficient. These professionals are there for your benefit and healing. I dismissed a psychiatrist who fell into the 'going through the motions' category and I was going down-hill fast.
4. Take a moment today, or before your next session with this psychologist, and map out a direction that you want to take in your sessions. Take the three most important issues you want to address. Then take each issue one at a time and the reason your feel it is important for getting them addressed. As an example fear of burning your house down while cooking is a legitimate issue if you like to cook or like to eat. An "Unhealthy respect for the law", depends on your side of the justice system. If a life of crime is your objective(and I don't think that is the reason) then it probably is a issue to deal with.
However, from your letter here the 'unhealthy respect', and I may be way off base, I think your talking about an unhealthy respect for authority and do not feel 'confident' questioning authority.
Respecting authority is not bad, but when authority is not respectful of those they serve, they should be questioned.
I hope this is helpful and as I said earlier, being active in the positive direction of your care is a first step in building confidence.

My T and I worked together to establish an agenda each week. I offered me a chance for input as well as a way of measuring the success of each session.

[Victoria'smom]

I would look for a new one after talking to her.

[Purplespider]

Originally Posted by Lis-Ace

Hey all,

I've been seeing a psychologist since the start of this year. The first few sessions went ok. But the problem is, once we got past the whole "talking about your past" stage, it's gone all...off. It's not that she's bad - although, if she was, I wouldn't know because she's the first I've ever seen - but it feels like she doesn't listen to me, not really.

It's almost as if she's focusing on the wrong things, but then I wonder...do I even have the right to question it? I mean, she is the professional, right? My major issue right now is self confidence and fear over the most insane things. Like, say, I have a fear of using frying pans in case I burn the house down. Stuff like that will affect my life more than the fact that I have a "unhealthy respect for the law"...wouldn't it? Is that even possible? Having an unhealthy respect for the law, I mean.

And then there's CBT. I know the theories behind it and I know how to practice it. But it just doesn't work for me. Why, I have absolutely no idea, but it just doesn't. But she doesn't seem to understand that and every time I go, it's the same thing over and over and over again.

I'm not really entirely sure what to do. Do I try and find a new one that would be better suited to me? Or do I put up with it because she's the professional and I'm not?

Hello, I strongly believe that a therapist and a client need to have a strong bond between themselves. Therefore, if you perceive any issues then you can go see another therapist if you prefer. I really and strongly believe that there needs to be a building of trust and that instant connection between you and the therapist. That is why if you are feeling that you need to change to another therapist, then you can do so. If you want to keep your therapist and see how things progress, then you can do that as well. It is all up to you and whatever makes you feel comfortable. I wish you the best. Marcy