[scarletkady]

My daughter is living with a man with bipolar that refuses medication and therapy. She has three children. He thinks he is fine but in the last two months he is gone at least three nights and days a week, he is at work during the day but not at night. She believes he is being true to her nut I'm afraid of her getting std or worse. Can he be a step-parent and husband without help? I'm afraid for my Grandchildren.

[Skeezyks]

Hello scarletkady: I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral... from the Skeezyks! I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit.

I would have to say I don't really know what the "success" rate is for individuals who have Bipolar Disorder but who do not take med's or participate in therapy. Perhaps other members, here on PC, who have more experience than I will be able offer some guidance. I certainly sympathize with your concern, given what this man is doing.

Do you know is he manic at this time? Have you seen other incident's of risky behaviour or poor decision making. For the most part I don't see other BP persons as being dangerous parents. The problem is more of a question of reliability.

I can also speak from experience that a BP person in hypo/mania is very charismatic and attractive to those around them. This is due in a large part to their carefree attitude, drive fore excitement, and the fact they are incredibly fun to be around. Anytime I have been in such states I have been surrounded by people along for the ride. This may be the underlying attraction your daughter has for her boyfriend. The unconscious need to share in the adventure can be very powerful.

Still, this is her decision to be around this man. You have not suggested there is any evidence other than the potential for risky behaviour that could be considered dangerous. I however am uncomfortable with the fact though that she is not being included in his lifestyle. A suggestion here; are you able to suggest that you watch the kids on occasion thereby allowing and encouraging her to tag along when he goes out? If he is determined to disuade her from joining him then that is a problem. Again, it's her choice. The best thing you can do is be there when the fall comes.

[Stressed66]

I feel for you and your daughter. Bipolar or not someone in a committed relationship does not stay out three times per week every week. ( if he is bipolar the manic phase may be driving him to stay up all night and make poor decisions. ) she may convince him to go to MD while in the depressive phase of illness. She may need to get out of the relationship if things don't improve.

[Trippin2.0]

My friend's bf does this and he's not BP, I in fact do have BP and don't disappear.


Meds or no meds, dx or none, guess who's the better parent between us??


You've said too little to judge his ability to parent.


What if he goes off to the beach to run, watch the stars, paint?

IDK where he goes or if he goes due to his condition, or simply because he can.


So I'm not making a judgment call on that.


Meds and therapy is not for everyone, there are other ways to manage, and refusing the aforementioned, doesn't automatically make you a bad person or parent.