I'm really troubled by a family member I find so difficult. It is my much older sister by about 10 years. My sister repeatedly gets into abusive relationships, it's a real pattern. I spend hours listening and help financially and think I'm making a difference. Then my sister does a sudden 180 turn around, goes back to her victimizer. Please understand she is known to the police in a small town because they have had to intervene 3 times. I am not exaggerating when I say she has been a victim. Even been in a shelter. So sad! When she does her turn around, though, she becomes condescending and cruel to me:"why can't I forgive her abuser and walk in light and love; why is my mind so pathetic?" I feel in those moments like I have swallowed a bunch of crazy pills! I care about her, enough to send her money because right now she is sick and alone. However, after the last episode where she started to bring the drama under my own roof, I decided I just can't have her in my life or have the drama around my kids. I also have baggage here, because I was abused by one of her crazy husbands, through my teenage years. I don't want history repeating itself or my kids to go through any serious dysfunction. Did I mention I'm sick? Right after my last round with her reconnecting with someone whose actions put her in a shelter, I developed a rare autoimmune dissorder which causes hives and sudden swelling in my face and tongue which can be life threatening. (I talked with a naturopath about the mind body connection.) I have embraced the idea of "practical forgiveness" and send her money but keep my distance. I struggle one minute with guilt I am avoiding her calls and next minute with a sense I'm an idiot for supporting her financially (not the best thing for my family). Thoughts? Advice? Thank you for "listening." I feel so stuck.
Oct 28, 2016, 07:11 AM
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.
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