[Psuedosurfer]

I feel like I have so many things wrong with my head, and I’m not positive what sort of doctor would be the best to visit, if I should goto one, and I have no idea what’s really wrong with me aside from the fact that I have anxiety with panic attacks. According to the quizzes on the website here I have ADHD, depression, and OCD. A little backstory(probably long really sorry), I’ve had panic attacks for about 10 years, I used to be on Xanax for a long time and it made me extremely tired so my doctor(gp) put me on kolopin which I’ve been taking 2mg a day for about 5 years or so. It started at 1 mg (.5 twice a day) and I would still always feel anxious so it was upped to 2mg (1mg twice a day) I don’t feel anxiety anymore; I still will have panic attacks late at night if I haven’t taken my meds yet. Once I take it, it goes away in about 30 minutes. I feel like the kolopin has some negative effects on me of course, and I really feel trapped by it. I know if I don’t take it, it will be worse than if I did. I’m always tired, it doesn’t matter how much or how little I sleep and I have sexual problems as well.

I broke up with my girlfriend of 9 years about 8 months ago which I still struggle with. I broke up with her because we had drifted so far apart we were the definition of roommates. We didn’t sleep in the same room, we just hung out, did some stuff, but there was no love or affection anymore and it was killing me, now I just miss having someone around me. I keep getting new girlfriends and ultimately it doesn’t work out and I have just stopped doing that the last couple months. It wasn’t helping.

I travel for work about 8 months out of the year(like 3-4 days a week with weeks off), and since all my old friends have moved or gotten married my only real friends live in other states. I know some people around here, but when they want to do stuff it’s hard for me to go out and do anything. I always make excuses that I’m busy. When I do go out with them I have fun, I have no social anxiety problems I have no problem talking to or meeting new people, its actually part of my job in a way so that’s not the issue. I just don’t feel like leaving my house most of the time. I go out almost every day to go somewhere for a little while, but for the most part I just sit here.

I certainly feel like I’m depressed to an extent and I feel like I have adhd as well, but I’m just a google doctor so I can’t be sure. I just know that on top of my anxiety problems, I’m never really happy even when I get a big job for work (I own my business). I’ll just go, cool, now I need to worry about the next big job even though it’s nothing to worry about; I have steady income. It seems like when good things happen I just sigh with relief and start to worry about the next good thing instead of being happy that things are good.

I notice I spend a lot of money trying to be happy about stuff and it fades really fast after buying stuff. I’m excited about it for a short time and then I don’t care anymore.

I also get very hyper focused on new hobbies and quickly lose interest. I will bury myself into something doing all the research I can, and get insanely educated on it, and just as fast as I cared I don’t anymore and stop being interested in it. This also goes for things I used to really like to do, I get very bored with them after a few hours now and bothers the hell out of me.
I also get very distracted and a lot of not carrying about stuff when it comes to work, deadlines and hobbies. I try to change habits and nothing seems to work. I’m always over thinking and evaluating everything. I always drag stuff out and never do what I actually need to do when I should. I’ll wait until I absolutely have to do something before I will ever do it. It gets so stressful sitting around knowing I have something I need to do in the back of my head, but I just won’t do it. It feels like being lazy, but I’m not lazy I just don’t want to do something, or I start to do it and can’t focus on getting it done. I’ll get bored of it and just stop doing it, then wait until the last minute to finish it when I have no choice but to do it(that sounds really confusing even typing it out lol).

I’m sure the internet can’t solve my problems although I appreciate any input from someone in a similar situation. I’m mainly not sure what sort of doctor I should seek out and I don’t know for sure if my insurance would even cover it in the first place. I can tell my GP I think I have adhd or depression and he will give me medication if he agrees, but I don’t see that really solving anything. I have friends on anti-depressants and it doesn’t sound like the side effects are much more fun than benzo’s so I’m pretty hesitant to go that route, but if it can make me happy I’m sure it would be worth it in the end. Also there is a ton of forums in here; if I posted this in the wrong spot please let me know. Thanks!

[Ember_42]

Gps can be helpful in prescribing psychiatric medications but they generally aren't as knowledgeable about them as someone who specializes in them. It might be a good idea to see what your options are as far as insurance goes and find a psychiatrist (or often it's a nurse practitioner which has sometimes been even better for me) to ask about your concerns.

Medications are also really individual in how they react to each person. One will give you tons of side effects and another might give you none at all or so minimal that you barely notice them. In the same way, one will work great for you and others will not.

You might have ADHD or you might just be depressed. Lack of motivation, procrastinating, difficulty staying focused, not feeling like socializing, and losing interest in things you enjoy can be symptoms. Only a doctor or therapist can really help you work out which though. My brother has ADHD and he does the hyperfocused obsessiveness and losing interest thing with a steady string of new hobbies and interests. I do a version of that too but mine is from major depression which is why an expert opinion is a good thing.

You certainly have a reason for the depression if you're still dealing with losing a long term partner (and the situation that led to the breakup) and the resulting loneliness. Even stress from all the traveling and running your own company could be wearing you down and contributing to your issues. You probably already know that benzodiazepines can contribute to depression.

In my experience, it's not at all uncommon for a person with one mental or emotional issue to have another (or many others) as well. You're absolutely not alone in that. I personally have a bunch of them.

[avlady]

i hope you feel better and will think of you in my prayers. i am also on several meds after experimenting with the docs for years. Maybe you need a med change again. I know it took over 30 years for my problem, and then i found clonazapine which is helping greatly.good luck

[Thunder Bow]

As recommended above, see a Therapist. You can work on the causes of your anxiety with a Therapist.